


Switched

by Daisyflo



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Accidental birthday wish, Ben is afraid of boobs, Body Swap, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, M/M, Masturbation, Mutual Masturbation, No Pregnancy, Oh no are those feelings??, Oral Sex, POV Ben Solo, Phone Sex, Rey's shrimp and potato pizza, Smut, Strangers to Lovers, Witchy Rose Tico, guided masturbation, little angst, more like Strangers to Friends to Lovers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-05
Updated: 2020-03-09
Packaged: 2020-10-10 18:54:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 40,595
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20532911
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Daisyflo/pseuds/Daisyflo
Summary: The day after his thirtieth birthday, Ben wakes up and finds he's not in his own bed, in a body that's definitely not his either.





	1. Happy Birthday

**Author's Note:**

> This wasn't planned at all, but... here we go! Huge thanks to nite0wl for beta'ing this, and SpaceWaffleHouseTM for the inspiration!

The first lights of the day are probably the thing Ben hates the most along with chocolate and slow-people on the pavements. It reminds him of how early it is, how tired he is, and the fact that he has to go to work. His nights are usually shortened by insomnia, which doesn’t help with his general mood and the dark circles starting to settle under his eyes.

Still, he’d learned how to make mornings a bit less unpleasant: his alarm was set to a relaxing melody, his room smelled like chamomile and he’d invested in a comfortable mattress that made him feel like he was sleeping on a heap of clouds. It usually worked wonder, but today seemed to be the exception. His back was aching like he’d slept on the ground, his head felt like someone had hammered nails into it all night and the bed somehow felt narrow.

The second his eyes opened, Ben realized two things: first, this wasn’t his bed; second, this wasn’t his room either.

The thought that maybe he’d drunk himself stupid skimmed his mind, but this clearly wasn’t an option: Ben hadn’t had a drink in years, and the evening before had been rather calm. He remembered the restaurant his boss had taken him and his coworkers to, the egg-yolk ravioli and white truffles he’d had, and clearly recalled setting his phone in Airplane mode before heading to bed. Still, he instinctively turned, dreading the sight of another body lying next to him.

No one. This should’ve been reassuring, but Ben was starting to seriously wonder where he’d ended up and _how_ exactly, when he remembered the entire evening. His eyes opened a bit more as the seconds passed, allowing him to get a better look at the place. Whoever lived here definitely wasn’t into minimalism: shelves on the walls were covered with books and other unidentified objects. A few items of clothing were scattered around the room –jeans and t-shirts, mostly which only renewed Ben’s earlier fear that he might’ve spent the night with some stranger.

Where the fuck was he?

“Rey? Come on, we’re gonna be late!”

_And who the fuck was Rey? _Whoever she was, someone was looking for her, and Ben doubled his hopes that he hadn’t been stupid enough to hook up with a stranger who, added to that, seemed to live with a man.

With his head still dizzy, Ben straightened up and sat in the middle of the bed. Something about it felt odd; the mattress, even though floppier than his, didn’t sink under his weight. Not that he intended to break it, but he was used to… more. More efforts, more stability (he’d almost flown a leg out of the bed in the process), more everything. Something about this morning wasn’t right, and Ben realized what it was when he ran a hand through his hair. _His hair usually didn’t run past his shoulders_. Slowly, his hand left his hair and landed on the bed, and Ben let his eyes drop to it with anticipation.

His hand had somehow grown smaller during the night and was only half its usual size, thinner and less pale. Whatever had happened must have been rather brutal, because his skin was now calloused on the fingertips and the edges of his palm. Out of habit, Ben ran it through his hair once again and stopped himself mid-air. His head should’ve felt bigger in his reduced hand, but… nothing. It even felt slightly smaller and rounder and… With something tightening in his stomach, Ben risked touching his face and felt his heart fall to his feet when, once again, nothing felt familiar. His eyebrows were lighter, his big nose was no more, his ears were definitely smaller and_ were those earrings_?

Either this night had been wilder than he remembered or…

Ben immediately shook his head as if the sole movement could chase this idea away. Ironically, his newly shoulder-length hair followed and whipped his face. This couldn’t be what he was thinking about, this only happened in movies; still, with each passing second, it became clearer that this body wasn’t his own.

Getting up from the bed appeared to be a dangerous idea as he stumbled his way out of it. He’d overestimated his legs, or whoever’s they were: this wasn’t his usual height or weight, and his shoulders usually took way more space. With a fast-beating heart, Ben walked to a mirror fixed on a wall and, cautiously, took in the image it sent him back.

The hair he’d run his hand through was straighter and thinner than his, a light chestnut color. It stopped just beneath his shoulders –_her_ shoulders, Ben realized as he noticed a soft bump where his chest had once been. A sudden blush crept over his cheeks at it, and he quickly looked away as he continued his self-but-not-quite inspection. He’d lost at least seven inches, and probably around seventy pounds, which was rather frustrating after numerous evenings spent at the gym.

This body didn’t feel weak, though: the legs were quite toned, and he was pretty sure these arms would we strong enough to carry his usual amount of grocery bags.

Timidly, Ben looked up, making a point to avoid looking at the breast again, and stared at his reflection. The eyes staring back at him were a warm hazel, underlined by a trail of freckles running along round cheeks and a small nose. Just under all that were thin pink lips begging to be hydrated that looked rather enticing. Eyes wide open, Ben lifted a hand and traced said lips with the tip of a finger.

The stranger called through the door once again, this time with a knock. “Rey? You slept in?”

And that was when it hit him. He _was_ Rey.

“Yeah, I-” His voice had changed, too. It definitely wasn’t his, and it took him a second to clear his throat and think about what to say. “I don’t feel good. I think I’m sick.”

The other man let out a small chuckle. “Yeah, that’s what happens when you have five margaritas.” He had an accent- British. “Alright, I have to leave but keep me updated. I can call Poe for you.”

“Thanks,” Ben muttered, with no idea of who Poe even was.

Whoever this Rey was, she must’ve made quite an impression last night, because the margarita excuse seemed to be enough to who Ben suspected was either her roommate or her boyfriend. A series of footsteps echoed behind the door, less and less clear, then the sound of a closing door and a lock. As soon as an engine started roaring outside, Ben turned around and scanned the room, looking for his phone that of course was nowhere to be seen.

His breathing became irregular, and swallowing appeared more difficult than it should’ve been. With trembling fingers, Ben touched his hair one more time, only to increase the dizzying sensation that absolutely everything was wrong because this wasn’t his hair or his hands. This wasn’t him, this wasn’t supposed to be, and _where the hell was he_?

With his palms going rather sweaty, Ben fumbled with the bedsheets and climbed back into bed. This was just a bad dream. He was going to close his eyes and wake up in his Brooklyn apartment with his chamomile aroma in the background and the sound of traffic outside his window. All he had to do was calm down and wait for it. Clenching his fists into the sheets, Ben curled up in the tiny bed and shut his eyes tightly until his vision was nothing but blurry fireworks, then complete darkness.

He opened them what felt like hours later, not to the sound of horns and shouting, but to a ringtone that he didn’t recognize.

What he’d been dreading somehow happened before his eyes when he got out of the same little bed, in the same little room: his legs were still half their usual size, and smoother than they should be. A shuddered breath left him. _So this wasn’t a dream_. Another sigh crossed his lips, and it took Ben all his willpower not to jump back into the bed and wait for something, anything to happen that could fix this situation. Having a panic attack would only make him waste time and lose track of the mysterious phone. His fists clenched on his sides as he began to count to three and regain control of his breathing.

The phone stopped, then rang again, calling him from wherever it was. Careful not to stumble again, Ben got down on his knees and found it under the bed, along with a wallet and some screwdrivers. The device was identical to his apart from the color, yet felt insanely large in his hands. It suddenly occurred to him that he probably shouldn’t answer- despite his new voice, whoever was on the other side of the line would probably feel something was off. Still, Ben raised the screen to his eyes and felt his heart jump at the number- _his_ number. Finally something familiar. Without even thinking twice, he accepted the call and almost crushed the phone against his ear.

Just when Ben thought this couldn’t get any more confusing, his own voice echoed through the device. Except it wasn’t exactly his voice, because he didn’t have a British accent.

“Hello? Who’s this?”

The question was just as unsettling as the situation itself, and Ben found himself unable to say anything. This person sounded just as nervous as he’d been when he first woke up, and he wasn’t exactly sure how he was supposed to help them when his own plan of action had included going back to sleep and ignoring the situation.

“Can you say something please?”

There was a hint of distress now, which pushed Ben to speak.

“I’m... I don’t know.”

“I’m Rey,” the other voice cut impatiently.

And maybe it was the stress or the realization that he was talking to the actual owner of this body, but Ben cracked a little laugh and heard the words before he could stop himself. “Oh, yeah, I think I found your body.”

“Any chance you could return it?”

Ben didn’t feel too bad about his chuckle this time, and felt his jaw relax significantly. At least this Rey had a good sense of humor. A sigh of relief left him when he heard another chuckle echo through the phone, and he suddenly felt slightly less alone in whatever this was. Curious, he walked to the little window and peeked outside. “Can you tell me where I am, Rey?”

“I was actually hoping you could tell me where _I_ am.”

A group of kids passed by the window, all dressed in uniforms, and Ben felt something tighten in his stomach. “Can you describe the place?”

“Yes. It’s…” A brief silence fell between them, followed by a hesitant tone. “Big? There’s a huge desk, a huge bed, a huge window and everything is grey or black. It’s pretty empty, like a show flat.”

“That’s my bedroom,” Ben said in a breath.

Another group of kids crossed the street before his eyes, and his heart started drumming again. Rey broke the silence with a small, uncertain voice he hadn’t heard from himself in years.

“You’re in mine, aren’t you?”

“Yes, I think I am.”

Another silence.

“Where’s your room?” Rey asked after a moment.

“Brooklyn,” Ben murmured, his eyes fixed on the red wardrobe situated on the other side of the street.

Nobody seemed to care about its presence, yet this kind of thing usually attracted at least a small crowd of selfie-takers. This seemed rather normal here; as normal as the old houses facing him and the dark pavements. It took him a second glance to realize this wasn’t a wardrobe but a phone booth, and that nobody seemed to care because this wasn’t unusual here.

“I take it yours is in England,” Ben breathed out. An approving hum sounded from her side then he heard her whisper _shit_, which was something his mouth was more used to. “Ok. Give me a second.”

Careful as to not step on any of the discarded clothes, he walked back to the bed and sat there, knees under his chin with his hand desperately gripping at the phone. This defied the laws of physics and all logic. This sounded like a bad dream, and yet felt more real than he would like to admit. It shouldn’t be happening, but it was. Or maybe it wasn’t- but for now, he was living what felt like an unbelievable reality and needed to do something about it. And if this was just a dream… well, he would be both scared and proud of his unconscious self for the rest of his life.

“What time is it for you?” he asked after a whole minute of silent consideration. “There’s a clock in the living room,” he added when she made an uncertain noise.

The sound of her- _his_ footsteps filled the silence, followed by the information. “Five a.m.”

Ben quickly checked the time on the phone- eleven- and nodded. This meant he’d managed to get a few more hours to sleep, and that whatever had happened to them must have happened in the night.

“Ok,” he started when the phone met his ear again. “So you’re… me. And I’m you. This is…”

“Insane,” Rey completed from the other side.

On that, he could agree.

“There’s also a high probability that this isn’t real,” Ben continued, his voice slightly less assured. “It could be real just as much as it could be a dream.”

“Or there’s a glitch in the matrix.”

Ben wasn’t sure if she was joking or not, mostly because this suddenly didn’t sound like such a crazy theory. She didn’t seem sure either, because no laugh followed her words this time.

“This has to be a dream,” Ben repeated in a breath, “but in the insane eventuality that it isn’t… is there anything I should know about you? Someplace you should be?”

The sound of her footsteps echoed through the phone, followed by a muffled noise that he recognized as his body falling back in his bed. “Work.” Another ruffling. “Two hours ago.”

“What’s your job?” Ben asked, already dreading the answer. What if she was a scientist in some very specific area? An engineer? Worse, a teacher? He’d rather dissect brains than set foot in a school again and deal with two dozen kids he didn’t even know.

“I fix cars, mostly. Bikes sometimes.”

From the way it sounded, she’d either buried her face in his pillows or stuffed her face with the pop tarts he’d left on the counter the night before. Or both. The thought drew a little smile from Ben, followed with a sigh of relief when her words registered. “I can do that,” he assured with more hesitation than he wished.

His memories of the life of a garage were tightly intertwined to those of his father, which wasn’t something he wanted to think about right now. In a vain attempt to chase the memories starting to rush back in, he shook his head and took a deep breath. Hopefully, he wasn’t too rusty and still knew how to change a tire or what a brake pad looked like. This promised to be an interesting day to test his anxiety- in the case, of course, that he didn’t wake up.

“Great. My boss will already be there- that’s Poe. Laugh at his jokes and listen to his drama but don’t say anything, I don’t want to get involved.”

“Wait,” Ben started, his stomach tightening at the prospect of having to spend an entire day with a talkative stranger, “which dram-”

“Long story,” Rey cut impatiently. “I’ll text you the details. What do I need to know about you?”

_Not much_, Ben thought before he remembered the night before. He’d purposely ignored his mother’s calls as well as her voicemails, and hadn’t even bothered opening his father’s text. If this was indeed a dream, his subconscious seemed to have some things to tell him- but then again, Ben didn’t want to face it yet, so he just shook his head. “We can talk about that later. Call in sick and get some sleep, I’ll call you when I come back.”

He’d only known Rey for a few minutes, but something in him was already expecting her to protest. Instead, she remained silent for a moment then gave him a soft hum of approval that betrayed her tiredness.

“Ok,” she conceded with a yawn. “Who do I call?”

Snoke was the obvious answer, but something in Ben didn’t want her to have to deal with him- not yet. His boss may be uninterested in his personal life –not that he had any- but he could smell change from miles. Andrew Snoke was many things, but he was far from being stupid. Ben still hadn’t managed to figure out where his accent was from, but he would probably hear Rey’s the moment she opened her mouth.

“Snoke,” Ben eventually said as he walked to the wardrobe next to the window. “But just text him.”

Another chuckle echoed through the phone, and he realized his body mustn’t have done it that much since long ago. “Why? Isn’t it going to be suspicious if I don’t call?”

“You can’t call him and talk like that,” Ben stated as he opened the wardrobe. Shelves of clothes appeared before him, all messy and in different shades of beige and grey.

“Like what?”

A small smile made it to his lips at how British-y she’d said it. “With your accent,” he explained as he cautiously ran a finger along the disorganized piles of t-shirts. His instinctive thought was that he would never fit in those, but his brain was quick to remind him that he indeed would. “I’m American.”

“Oh, right.” She cleared her throat -_his_ throat, Ben corrected mentally- and spoke again, this time more softly. “_How about that_?” She already sounded a little more like his usual self, which was still immensely disturbing.

“Better,” Ben approved. “Maybe watch some YouTube videos to perfect it.”

“Well, you should do the same because you don’t sound Brit in the least.”

She’d been quick to lose her newly found American accent, which only confirmed that staying home for today was the best solution on her end. Ben, on the other hand, would have to leave soon; he couldn’t run the risk of letting her roommate or her boss suspect anything about her current situation. A heavy sigh escaped him as his eyes wandered over the numerous outfit options before him, and suddenly, a terrifying thought occurred to him. “Do I need to put makeup on?”

“_Makeup_,” she corrected with the right accent. “Don’t bother, I can barely do it myself. Just… put on some comfortable clothes, jeans and a jumper.”

“A jumper?”

That didn’t sound like something comfortable at all, and truth be told, Ben didn’t feel like going so much out of his way. What if she had to wear heels? What if _he_ had to? He might sprain an ankle, or both, and he wasn’t sure they needed another complication to this whole situation.

“A _sweater_,” she corrected herself with the most American accent he’d heard of her. It made him smile again.

Getting dressed didn’t feel as different as he’d expected: jeans were part of his usual outfit, except his were darker and less tight. The first difficulty he faced came when he realized nothing would hide her breasts from his eyes once he’d taken the t-shirt he'd slept in off, so Ben decided to keep it on and put the first sweater he could find over it.

“This isn’t how I intended to celebrate my birthday,” Ben mumbled as he took one last brief look at his reflection. The blue of the sweater somehow enhanced the color of her eyes and made her hair look slightly lighter.

“It’s your birthday?” The tone she’d used reminded Ben of his own whenever something surprised him or got his attention- which he suspected, in this case, was both.

“Yesterday,” he clarified.

His theory was confirmed when she remained silent for a few more seconds. “That’s weird,” she murmured, so low that Ben had to crush the phone against his ear to hear the rest. “It was my birthday too. I just turned twenty-three.”

_Weird_ wasn’t the word Ben would’ve chosen. _Terrifying_ was more fitting. A wave of shivers ran down his spine as he bit his lower lip; this felt more and more like one of those dreams full of symbolic and repressed trauma. Of course, this was a dream: this felt more and more like his brain trying to remind him of how lonely he’d always felt. The shared birthday was probably just here as part of whatever fantasy he’d repressed up there, and the choice of face and body… Well, she wasn’t bad looking at all.

“Weird indeed,” Ben whispered, finally turning away from the mirror. “Ok, I can’t keep your boss waiting any longer. Text me the address.”

He was about to open the door when she interrupted him. “Sorry, I didn’t even ask your name?”

The answer left him in a whisper as he opened the door. “Ben,” he said after a brief look into the new room. “Ben Solo.”

When it seemed like no one else was around, he stepped out of the bedroom and carefully closed the door behind him then searched for what looked like the main door. This day hadn’t even really started but already promised to be a long one.

“Well,” Rey said with another yawn, “Happy birthday, Ben.”


	2. The rules

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, I'm absolutely sorry for how long it took me to update this story, I had a very sudden NEED to write oneshots and then the trailer ruined me hcvsdcvsd. I promise I'm organized now!

Getting his hands dirty appeared easier than actually finding his way to the garage Rey worked at. Every street looked the same, but also not really, and people seemed to make a point of indicating the way by mentioning pubs with dubious names such as Grateful Lantern, Laughing Horses or even Olde Willow. Everything seemed stuck in a time warp that somehow managed to mix the last and current centuries together, resulting in old pavements brightened with colorful front windows. There was too much to look at and to process, so much that when Ben finally found the garage Rey had described in her text as _‘modest but cosy’_, he barely bat an eyelid at the wide, yellow and orange sign staring back at him on the front door.

Bright blue painted letters reminded him of the name she’d added above the address- _Poe’matic_. A sigh almost left him as he noticed the handwriting. If they wanted to go the vintage way, they might have to revise how they traced their T’s, because adding a few serifs here and there didn’t make it more stylized.

He’d barely opened the door when a dark-haired man, who was probably Poe, greeted him with a friendly tap on the shoulder, which he hadn’t prepared this new body for. First, because he hadn’t received any physical contact other than a professional handshake in years; second, because such a simple gesture wouldn’t normally require him to hold steady. A smirk appeared on the man’s lips, and Ben had to double his effort not to take a step back when he tapped Ben on his shoulder a second time.

“Ah, the Birthday Girl! How’s the head?”

_Different_. “Good.”

A frown appeared on the man's face, making his dark curls bounce above his brown eyes, and Ben found himself immensely grateful he hadn’t spoken more. In a vain attempt to excuse his lack of British accent, he cleared his throat, sparing himself a few more seconds to think correctly about his next words.

“I feel a bit hoarse, though,” he added, his tongue a little harsher on the vowels like he’d heard Rey do with his own voice. The attempt seemed to convince Poe- at least Ben hoped it was him- and encouraged him to pat his shoulder a third time. _Tactile boss it was._

“That happens when you dance and sing your head off all night long.” Another smirk narrowed the man’s eyes, then he raised his eyebrows. “I still can’t believe you challenged Finn to karaoke.”

Neither could he; but this explained the sharp pain in his heels and the tingling sensation in the back of his throat. So not only was he supposed to live Rey’s typical day, but he also had to deal with the aftermath of what sounded like a wild night out. This wasn’t what Ben would’ve thought of her based on their short call. Curious as to learn more about this party and its possible side effects on him, he cleared his throat and folded his arms against his- well, _her_ chest, making the man’s hand move away. “But I beat him, right?”

A genuine laugh left the man; a laugh so contagious Ben almost felt like sharing it. “God Rey, no,” he managed to articulate, his hands on his stomach. “You don’t remember the Dancing Queen accident?”

_Dancing Queen accident_. This night sounded more and more surprising, and Ben found himself wishing he’d actually been there to witness the scene. It wasn’t like his birthday night had been that exciting, anyway. Curious but careful, he settled for a brief shake of the head, encouraging Poe to continue.

“You barely made it to the second chorus,” he explained with a hardly suppressed grin. “Finn and I had to carry you the whole way home, then Rose made you one of her infusions and put you to bed.”

_Rose_\- another name to ask Rey about. Adding it to the other information he’d acquired so far, Ben let out a forced chuckle and followed the man at the other side of the garage where he showed him his tasks for today and, in an upsurge of what he called “hungover solidarity”, let him choose the music. Lucky for him, none of the work he’d been assigned had been out of his capacities; and before he knew it, the majority of the afternoon had passed.

Rey hadn’t lied- Poe was very talkative, and seemed to be caught in some drama Ben didn’t quite understand, but listened to anyway. A knowing nod here and there was enough to keep him going, and the hangover excuse was enough for Poe to not question his silence. He wasn’t of bad company at all- still, Ben felt his heart jump when his pocket vibrated. His hand immediately plunged into his pocket, grabbing Rey’s phone with an ease he wasn’t used to, and a sigh of relief left him at the sight of the text lighting the screen.

**Rey |** _hey, just woke up. where do you keep your tea?_

A small smile curled the corner of his lips. He always appreciated good grammar and spelling, but after so many years of navigating through Snoke and Hux’s two-foot-long emails, a little simplicity was more than welcome. Still, he couldn’t help but wince a little as he noticed the absence of capital letters, and made a point of using them in his reply.

**Ben |** _Nowhere. I don’t have tea._

**Rey |** _ ??!_

A chuckle left him this time, causing Poe to frown at him from the car he’s fixing. Ben dismissed him with a brief shake of his head, hoping that Rey usually used her phone at work. Once Poe disappeared under the Cadillac again, he looked back at the conversation and quickly typed his reply, amazed by how easily these fingers danced along the keyboard.

**Ben |** _It’s just water._

**Rey |** _nvm. coffee?_

**Ben |** _Cabinet above the sink._

“Hey, did Finn say anything about me?”

Hiding his panic at the question appeared more difficult than Ben had hoped. Luckily, Poe hadn’t moved from under the car, giving him the freedom to let his eyes widen as he thought about his next words and, more importantly, the way he was supposed to deliver them.

“We barely spoke since last night,” he said cautiously.

“I mean… before?”

_Listen to his drama, but don’t say anything_. Rey’s words echoed in his head, and he noticed that his brain had replaced his voice with what he’d hear of hers so far. Amusing, yet terrifying- exactly what would happen in a dream. The thought of it not being real was enough to hold onto and not lose his mind as he thought about his answer.

“I don’t want to get involved,” he said after a few seconds of reflection, choosing to use Rey’s own words for safety.

A sigh resonated under the car, followed by the mechanic’s voice. “Yeah, sorry babe. I didn’t mean… you know I’m not using you, right?”

_Babe_. The pet name awakened something in Ben, tugging at his stomach like he just got insulted. He’d never been called like that, let alone by a complete stranger. His last memories of such nicknames were closely tied to his childhood and the rare, but precious moments spent with his mother.

“Of course not,” Ben said, careful to sharpen consonants. The words sounded a bit harsh like this, but the voice carrying them smoothed it in a way he didn’t quite understand.

“Good. I really like you, and I’d hate for it to change anything between us.”

The man disappeared behind another car, leaving Ben with only more questions and doubts. What exactly was supposed to be between them? This wasn’t something he could ask Rey without making it weird; the situation was already hard to believe as it was. Instead, he looked back at the phone in his hand to where her last text (_thanks_) was waiting for him and typed a new message.

**Ben |** _Who’s Finn?_

**Rey |** _my roommate_

_ did he see you?_

Once again, her answer came quickly, which amazed Ben until he remembered she didn’t have anything else to do besides exploring his apartment.

**Ben |** _We just talked briefly this morning, through the door. But your boss mentioned him._

**Rey |** _yeah, we’re all friends. long story_

_ did he notice anything?_

His eyes left the device for a moment, searching for Poe. He found him perched above an open hood, blasting the chorus of a song he’d never heard before. _No_, he typed with an amused smile, _I don’t think so_.

**Rey |** good

what’s the password for your laptop?

Her habit of sending several texts at once weirdly suited what Ben had felt about her on the phone: a strong, fast personality. She’d been the one to take matters in hand, after all- her first reaction to waking up in such a situation had been to call herself and come up with a plan while his had consisted of… going back to bed. It hadn’t felt like such a bad idea at that time: he’d had dreams weirder than that, and this sounded like something his brain could easily make up. Yet, this felt less and less like a dream.

**Ben |** _ Skylorgana_

**Rey |** _thank u_

He didn’t bother asking what she wanted it for, and didn’t have time for it anyway: Poe was already coming back to him with a new list of things to check on a Prius along with a toolbox that reminded him of his father’s. They both worked the rest of the afternoon with barely enough time to even talk to each other, and Ben had to find creative ways to consult his phone for some expressions either Poe or their customers used here and there. He didn’t hear from Rey much either, her only other texts asking him if he had food anywhere and informing him of an email Snoke sent him. Ben chose to ignore the latter for the sake of his mental stability. If there was a risk, even a small one, of this not being a dream, he needed to remain calm like Rey had been so far.

“Alright,” Poe’s voice called from the other end of the garage a few hours later. “Let’s call it a day.”

A sound of surprise left Ben, followed with a grunt as he got back on his feet- or more accurately, Rey’s. “Already?”

A brief glance at the clock hung over the wall confirmed his estimation: 5 P.M. It wasn’t exactly _that_ early, but this felt like an insanely short day given the time he’d arrived. Especially when he was used to leaving the office long after everyone else was gone, and arriving way before Snoke himself. Sometimes he even wondered why he bothered paying rent for an apartment that he only briefly used.

“Really,” Poe confirmed with an amused yet surprised smile. He frowned a little, and Ben realized he might’ve reacted as himself, and not as Rey. “Unless you needed the garage for something?”

A knowing smirk followed the question, and Ben wasn’t sure what it meant and thus chose to ignore it. “No,” he said with a shake of his head. “I guess could use a good night’s sleep.”

The mechanic gave a light laugh at that, his curls bouncing on his forehead. He looked rather young to be a boss- couldn’t be that much older than Ben. There was something youthful in him, an eternal amusement in his eyes that inspired both trust and instant friendship, and Ben could easily see why Rey had eventually become friendly with her boss. He smiled at the thought, realizing that this must be what friends did- smile at each other before saying goodbye.

“Actually… Could you not tell Finn that I asked about him?”

A hint of nervousness shadowed his face, suddenly making him look a little older. He was still smiling, though; nervous and obviously embarrassed, but smiling.

“Of course,” Ben replied with a knowing nod.

It seemed enough to reassure Poe, which only increased his curiosity about the whole Finn situation. The phone in his pocket seemed heavy, all his answers within easy reach. He’d have to call Rey as soon as he got back to her apartment, which he hoped would be soon.

**\- - -**

Finding his way back to the apartment had been easier than he’d thought. As much as he hated to admit, the odd pub names were actually a great help along the way. He took his time, though, exploring Rey’s phone as he ventured through her neighborhood. Doing so felt creepy and intrusive at first until he remembered he had to know as much about her as he could. It was probably not real, anyway- at least that’s what he kept telling himself as he went through the few text messages and emails she’d received the last few days; which was to say, not much. She didn’t have many apps either, just two social medias that he chose not to open and a streaming one he recognized as the only one he’d installed on his own phone months ago. His curiosity was picked when he opened her photo gallery, though, dozens of colorful pictures appearing before him.

The most recent ones were from the night before, blurry and dark. Most of them featured her weirdly framed face smiling at the camera, accompanied by three people smiling as well. He recognized Poe and his wild curls, his uneasy smile and the way his eyes seemed constantly lit up by some secret knowledge. Next to him were a young woman and another man, both waving at the camera with amusement. Finn and Rose, probably. The rest of the pictures was mostly shots of buildings, old cars found in the street and other pictures of the same group of friends in different locations. Ben found himself staring a little longer at one particular picture of Rey standing next to one of those guards, her thumbs up and a smile on her lips.

This was the only picture of her taken by someone else, giving him a more complete view of the body he was currently inhabiting. She was wearing a denim jacket above black jeans and a grey sweater, the upper side of her face buried deep into a woolen scarf. Her hair was tied into a bun above her head, some rebellious strands waving around her in what looked like a rather windy day. A quick zoom on her face allowed him to notice the hint of a smile in the way her eyes were narrowed, and Ben felt himself blush at the realization that Rey wasn’t only not bad-looking, but _beautiful_. The kind of pure, simple beauty he would never have dared looking at, and yet couldn’t take his eyes off now that she was here. Now that _he_ was here. That he was _her_. He allowed himself a few more seconds, then resumed to his initial exploration as he kept walking on the old pavement.

“You’re home early!” a feminine voice shouted half an hour later as soon when Ben finally stepped into the apartment.

His eyes shot to the source of the voice, immediately landing on a rather small Asian woman he recognized from the pictures. She was sitting on one side of the couch situated in the middle of what seemed to be the living room, the other man from the pictures sitting right next to her. His eyes met his in an instant and he gave him a radiant smile that unsettled Ben for a brief moment.

“I-” Ben paused, remembering the accent he’d worked on all day. “Poe let me leave.”

“That’s nice of him.”

His gaze turned to the man- Finn, if he had to guess. His warm smile had disappeared and made way to a softer one, in which he could feel the same unease he’d felt in Poe’s. “Yeah, he was in a good mood.”

“Or pitied you,” the woman suggested with a little laugh.

Ben looked back at her, this time observing her a little more. She definitely was the girl from the pictures, but looked way more… casual. She wasn’t wearing any of those oversized jackets he’d seen her in, not an ounce of makeup covering her face. She was wearing yellow sweatpants with a large T-shirt, her dark hair tied into a messy ponytail. The round glasses perched on her nose shook a little as she laughed, and Ben felt instant sympathy wash over him. A detail from his earlier conversation with Poe rushed back to his mind; something that could both confirm she was the Rose he’d heard about, and make his conversation a little more authentic.

“Thanks for the infusion,” he said as he kicked his shoes off and hung his jacket on what seemed to be a coat rail. “Poe told me.”

The young woman’s smile turned into a grin, and Ben had to repress his smile at the relief that seized him. Credibility: check.

“It was nothing, just cucumber water and ginger. How’s your head?”

“Good,” Ben said with a shrug. “Just a sore throat,” he added after a brief check-up.

“I’ll make you a chamomile infusion after dinner,” Rose offered with a knowing nod.

Once again, Ben forced himself to a smile when all he wanted was to disapprove. Of course, Rey’s roommates would be used to her love for the gross leaf water. He supposed one cup couldn’t be that bad, as long as they did have coffee. He wasn’t sure he could this survive this situation without his morning coffee, which he hadn’t had today.

“Speaking of dinner,” the young man said, “we were thinking pizza?”

_Pizza_. He hadn’t had pizza in years. Come to think of it, he hadn’t eaten anything today, which probably explained the growl his stomach made at the mention of food. The last thing this body had received was probably that shitty herbal tea Rey’s roommate had made her ingest. The thought made Ben shiver, which he quickly concealed behind a firm nod. “Pizza sounds great.”

A victorious sound left Finn as he left the couch to grab his phone and order their dinner. He didn’t ask for anyone’s order, which led Ben to believe they all knew each other’s preferences. He only had to pray Rey wasn’t one of these pineapple pizza lovers- but given the state of his hunger, he could probably eat it anyway.

“You’re gonna stay there all night?” Rose asked with a raised eyebrow.

Shit, he hadn’t even moved from the corridor. Chasing his thoughts with a shake of his head, Ben quickly walked to the living room then sat on the couch, observing the room with as much casualness he was capable of. It was maybe as big as his bedroom back in Brooklyn, but so full of furniture and decorations he didn’t know exactly where to look. The walls were covered with posters of movies, most he’d never heard of, the floor hidden under rugs and pillows. The couch he was sitting on remained in the center of the room, separated from the large TV screen by a coffee table currently covered with empty plates and glasses.

“What’s that smell?” Ben asked with a frown as he sunk between the cushions.

“Sage,” Rose replied calmly as she cleared the coffee table. “I figured I’d cleanse the apartment after that full moon.”

_Cleanse_. The last time he’d heard this word was in a sketchy documentary during one of his insomnias- something about modern witchcraft and the dangers of burning herbs inside a house, with a few graphics about the growth of interest in pagan religions in the last few years. So this explained the smell and the infusions. If this was really a dream, and it _had_ to be, his brain really had outdone itself.

“Yeah,” he breathed out. “Makes sense.”

Not even twenty minutes later, their pizzas arrived and chased the smell of sage away, making Ben’s stomach growl with excited anticipation. The excitement decreased a little at the sight of the pizza Rey apparently loved: no pineapple in sight, but instead, an army of shrimp scattered over the round pastry, mixed up with curry and potatoes. This wasn’t exactly what he’d been hoping for- but again, he was too hungry to look closely.

Finn and Rose were a good company: not too talkative, but enough to make him feel welcome, which felt ironic since they didn’t know he was a complete stranger. Rose suggested they watch a movie, which Ben approved immediately. This felt like the perfect occasion to observe them and get a good idea of the kind of friendship they were supposed to have without risking to say anything stupid or, worse, forget the accent.

After an hour of thorough observation, Ben came to the conclusion that the three of them were as close as siblings: Rose’s legs were on his lap like it was the most natural thing, and Finn kept reminding her not to throw the olive pits on the table if she couldn’t aim properly for her pizza box. Finn seemed to be the one who knew Rey the most, though; a theory that got confirmed along with the fact that Rey really had awful tastes when the young man got up and asked him if he wanted some jellied eels on his pizza. The sheer thought had almost made him nauseous and he’d shook his head firmly, to the young man’s greatest surprise.

“I’m going to bed,” Rose said with a yawn when the ending credits began to roll over the screen.

Her legs left Ben’s, leaving him with a cold sensation at the loss of her body’s warmth. Finn moved next to him, grumbling something about doing the dishes first thing in the morning.

A quick glance at the window informed Ben of how late it was. The street was already dark, enough for him to cross his gaze –well, _Rey’s_\- as he looked at the glass. His eyes quickly shifted back to his new roommates, and to the TV he’d been staring at for the last hour. He’d never been into Westerns, but this one sure had been a good distraction from the events of the day and from his urge to look at the phone he’d felt vibrating in his pocket the entire movie. Looking at it would’ve been too risky given Finn and Rose’s proximity, especially since he’d been stupid enough to name Rey as herself.

The second Finn and Rose disappeared in their respective rooms, Ben grabbed his phone and called Rey without even taking the time to look at the texts. His heart started pounding as he listened to the tonality, the phone crushed against his ear as he walked to Rey’s room. What if Snoke had called her? What if she’d been outside despite his warning and met someone he knew? This was probably another trick of his brain to-

“I sent you a dozen texts,” his own voice greeted him after the first tone.

The accusation in it made him frown a little, until he remembered Rey had spent her day alone at his place. “Sorry, I was watching a movie,” he replied in a whisper. “With your roommates,” he added once he closed the door behind him.

A short silence followed, during which Ben searched for the light switch on the wall. He found it after a few seconds, the clinking sound followed by a small chuckle as Rey spoke again. “So… how was your day?”

“Good,” Ben replied with a shrug she couldn’t see. “You know, besides the whole life-changing thing. Yours?”

A loud sigh echoed on the other side of the line. “Long. Boring. Your apartment isn’t exactly entertaining.”

The frustration in her tone was obvious, her accent making his own voice sound oddly foreign. It reminded him of the fact that he could actually stop accentuating the words leaving his mouth.

“Sorry,” he murmured sincerely. A brief hesitation kept him silent for a second, then he added: “Is there anything? Between you and Poe?”

It was probably a bit blunt of him, but there wasn’t really any way to ask this smoothly. Besides, he still wasn’t completely sure this was real at all. A genuine laugh left Rey at his question, surprising him both by its suddenness and the realization that he hadn’t heard himself laugh like this for years.

“Oh my God, no!” she managed to articulate between giggles. “He’s like… I don’t know, a brother.”

“A very physical brother,” Ben pointed out.

“Gross,” Rey replied sharply. Another chuckle left her. “Really, I can promise you I’m not the one he’s interested in.” Ben’s curiosity got picked again at the words she used, but she spoke again before he could ask anything. “Anyway, I did some research since I didn’t have anything to do.”

Ben let out a short breath as he flopped down on her bed. He’d forgotten how tiny it was, and how surprisingly well he could fit in. “Did you… find anything?"

“Just that Freaky Friday was made in 2003,” Rey said, “which makes me feel old, and that the internet is kinda kinky.”

“Like that’s new.”

His answer made her chuckle, and he suddenly hoped she hadn’t seen his browser history. Had he cleared it? Oh, well, this wasn’t the worst thing she could’ve found. She could’ve stumbled upon the outrageous amount of science-fiction romance novels hidden in a box at the bottom of his wardrobe, or on the few email notifications from that time when he signed in on a dating website years ago.

“I also looked up the ways to know if you’re dreaming,” Rey added, pulling him away from his spiraling thoughts. “There are some things we can try to do like a reality check, trying to fall asleep or blinking.”

Ben immediately blinked at that, opening his eyes to the same view he’d left a second ago. “I can blink.”

“Me too,” Rey replied calmly, and Ben realized she’d probably tried before his call.

“I did fall asleep again this morning,” he added, almost laughing at the memory of what had then felt like the obvious solution.

“Ok, reality check then. Did you notice anything weird today?”

Oh, he sure had. “Apart from the fact that I have a woman’s body?” Ben grumbled, throwing himself on the mattress. Rey’s light chuckle tickled his ear as his back bounced on the bed but she stayed silent, which he took as an invitation to continue. “People were… nice. I asked for directions three times on the way to the garage and everyone helped me.”

“That’s normal,” Rey stated patiently.

“Oh.” Maybe this reality check thing was going to be a little more complicated than he thought. Ben closed his eyes, focusing on his entire day and everything that’d felt out of place. “There are two faucets in the bathroom,” he recited with two fingers pinching his nose. “Everything looks old, there’s carpet everywhere and some shops have very odd names.”

“This is normal,” Rey repeated on the other side. A few clicks echoed behind her, indicating she was still on his laptop. “Ok, next thing was… Oh right, any chance you had a concussion or severe injury?”

“I don’t think so,” Ben replied with a vain shake of his head, the movement tangling his hair on her pillow. “How about you?”

“Well, I did drink more than I should’ve. I don’t even remember going back home.”

The memory of Rose’s infusion hit Ben along with guilt as he remembered the chamomile tea he’d abandoned on the kitchen counter earlier. “They carried you,” he told her as Poe’s words rang back to his ears. “Poe mentioned a Dancing Queen karaoke. There were also some blurry pictures on your phone, I took the liberty of looking at it.” Something tugged at his stomach as he remembered the picture of her with the guard. “You- well, _I_ have a pretty big hangover, but I didn’t notice anything.”

A long silence lingered between them, only interrupted by Rey’s breathing and a few clicks on her side from time to time. When she finally broke it, her tone was low and uncertain.

“So… not a dream, then.”

The verdict hit Ben like a cold shower. “Nope,” he agreed with a low voice as well.

And suddenly, everything felt as dizzy as it had this morning when he’d woken up. This wasn’t some kind of fucked-up dream; he’d really woken up in someone else’s body, at the other side of the world, and absolutely no idea as to how to fix this. He’d been thrown into a life he knew nothing about, surrounded by complete strangers, in what felt like a complete nightmare.

“Maybe we should… set some rules,” Rey said after a moment.

A frown creased his brows at the suggestion. “Shouldn’t we try to swap back?”

“Yes, but unless you have a plan right now…” She sighed, making his voice sound already a bit more familiar. “Whatever happened…. It happened. Maybe everything will be back to normal tomorrow, but if it’s not, we need to start thinking about a way to deal with this until we find a solution. I can’t hide in your apartment forever.”

She was right; Ben hated how she was right. “Ok,” he agreed with a sigh. “Let’s set some rules.”

And so they did, with Rey typing everything on his computer. About twenty minutes later, they ended up with what felt like a fair arrangement: Ben wasn’t allowed to go through the box hidden under her bed, but could use her Netflix account if he didn’t delete anything from her list. She was allowed to do the same in return but had to create a new account so she wouldn’t screw his. Since she shared hers with Rose, Ben didn’t really have a choice but to click on the little ‘_Girls’_ icon when he logged on her laptop, testing the new device as she kept reading the rules they’d agreed on so far. It occurred to Ben he should warn her about not calling his parents, and not reply if they were to contact him. It wasn’t like they had, but still. Rey agreed with a surprised tone, but didn’t question it. Lastly, they weren’t to do any changes to the other’s body unless its true owner had been consulted and had agreed.

“About that, can I cut your hair a little?” Ben interrupted.

He was met with a firm _no_, to which he sighed. “Oh come on,” Rey murmured, “Yours isn’t that short either.”

Once again, she was right; still, he didn’t tell her and let her type the rest of their rules, which included basic things such as informing each other of main events and never doing something important that could potentially change the other’s life. It was all promises they had to hope the other would keep, but Ben trusted Rey- mostly because he had to. If he didn’t, his anxiety would hit the roof. It was already a miracle it hadn’t, but he supposed Rey’s ease about managing the whole situation had been a great help for that. They’d just agreed on a time to call each other every night when Ben realized he was still wearing day clothes, including the T-shirt he’d woken up in and kept on in his rush.

“Um, do you… do you mind if I take a shower?” he asked

An inquiring hum followed his question, and Rey spoke again. “Of course not. I think I’m gonna go eat something anyway.”

“I meant… Do you _mind_?”

A blush seized Ben as he tried to clarify the meaning of his question. He still hadn’t truly seen the body he was currently inhabiting. He knew he would have to, at one point. Yet, the idea made him breathe with a little more difficulty.

“Oh. I…” The way Rey paused made Ben’s heart skip a beat. “I didn’t think about asking you,” she finally admitted.

It was inevitable, they couldn’t possibly avoid looking at each other’s body; still, Ben felt his cheeks warm at the idea of this stranger seeing him bare. The last time he’d let someone see him like this was years ago, and he hadn’t really been the most comfortable of the two of them.

“It’s ok,” he managed to mumble.

Nothing in his voice made it sound like it was ok, but Rey had the decency to not say anything for the next few seconds. When she finally broke the silence, Ben could hear the nervousness in his voice, and the way she spoke a tad faster than he usually did.

“It’s- you’re rather-”

“Can we please not talk about _it_,” Ben interrupted before she could go any further.

“I was about to say it’s a… respectable size.”

His heart skipped not one, but two beats this time, and Ben was glad she couldn’t see the blush coloring his cheeks right now. “Thank you,” he mumbled after a moment, making an effort not to crush the phone between his thin fingers.

“Probably bigger than average.”

A hint of pride washed over Ben at her words and he swallowed with difficulty, feeling very lucky when he didn’t choke on his own saliva. “I’m gonna go take that shower.”

“Yeah, sure,” Rey replied hastily. “Of course. Sorry. You’re probably exhausted.”

Oh he was, he really was, and not only mentally. Switching from an office job to the physical activity that fixing cars involved was more tiring than he would’ve expected. “I… yes,” Ben admitted in a breath. “I’ll call you tomorrow?”

Rey hummed her approval, then ended the call after wishing him a good night, to which he replied with an awkward and confused _good evening_. The moment she left, a heavy sense of loneliness hit him, along with all the panic he’d somehow managed to keep away all day. This wasn’t a dream. _This wasn’t a dream_. His breath began to shudder as numerous fears flooded his mind, all worse than the other and incredibly terrifying. His heart was going to leave his chest any minute, it wasn’t even _his_ heart, _his_ chest, _his_-

The shower. The shower would calm him down. All he needed was to relax enough to fall asleep.

Luckily, the bathroom was right across the corridor, allowing Ben to sneak in without having to fear waking Finn or Rose. It was a rather small one, but Ben remembered he didn’t have to worry about its size- not with this body. Shyly, he walked to the mirror hanging above the sink and glanced at his reflection, still expecting to meet his dark eyes underlined by the heavy bags left by too many evenings working on his computer. Instead, the eyes staring back at him were a sweet hazel, almond-shaped and underlined by a trail of freckles running along a tiny nose and round cheeks.

Rey really was beautiful.

Timidly, Ben grabbed the edge of the sweater he’d worn all day and cautiously pulled it above his head. The cold air of the room tickled his skin, making him shiver as he got shed the socks and jeans he’d thrown on this morning. He kept the t-shirt on that Rey had slept in as he turned the shower on, taking deep breaths as his free hand reached for the hem of the cotton underwear hugging his hips. Carefully, he rolled them down his legs and looked down at the T-shirt. He could definitely see the shape of Rey’s breasts under it, could _feel_ it on himself. There really was no way he could avoid it- and so he pulled it over his head as well, shivering at the loss of this last shield against the cool temperature.

_Even there, she was beautiful_. The blush Ben had felt earlier only increased as he caught a glimpse of his reflection. It took him a few seconds to work up the nerve to allow himself to look again; and when he did, the shiver running down his spine had nothing to do with the temperature. He’d seen women’s bodies before, in movies and during a brief, confusing hookup session after college. He’d seen slender bodies, curves, but Rey’s had something new about it. It was… simple, and yet enticing. His eyes caught sight of a thatch of hair starting between her thighs, then drifted back to the upper half of her body. He’d never been extremely attracted by breasts but found himself hypnotized by how perfect hers looked.

The spasms on his back disappeared as soon as he stepped inside the shower, chased by the warm water. In just a few minutes, his muscles felt insanely less tense, and the headache he’d carried all day gradually disappeared. This felt good and familiar. His hands instinctively brushed his hair away from his face as the water began to soak them and he threw his head backward, closing his eyes. For a moment, he was back in Brooklyn, taking a shower in his own apartment. The room he was in was a combination of black and red tiles. The rug he would step on would be a deep burgundy, contrasting with the dark towels hanging from the silver sink. His hands instinctively ran down his hips but stopped at the juncture of his thighs when he realized the automatism.

This had become a habit- going home, taking a hot shower and… _relaxing_. He didn’t even think about it most of the time, just… did it. His eyes snapped back open, a wave of guilt washing over him. He couldn’t do it here; not in a body that wasn’t his. Not in a body he didn’t know.

Besides, he probably wouldn’t know where to start- at least that’s what he told himself as he poured some soap in his hand and rubbed it over the sun-kissed skin enveloping him. His fingers trembled slightly as he grazed over the folds between his legs. Even the coldest shower wouldn’t be enough to erase the fire growing on his face. He decided not to linger too much on the breasts (these things didn’t need to be washed anyway, did they?) and turned the water off a few minutes later, almost fully relaxed from the warmth filling the room.

When he came back to Rey’s room, a towel wrapped around him, he found a message waiting for him on Rey’s phone next to an email from Netflix notifying him of a suspicious connection.

**Rey |** _how was the shower?_

A small smile curled the corner of his mouth as he sat on the bed. This was nothing, just a polite question; yet it was a presence. A reassuring presence that could understand his situation more than anyone else.

_Good_, he typed as his back met the mattress with a muffled sound._ I feel much better._

The towel slid a bit at his movements, revealing a hint of the skin he’d tried to hide from himself. A trail of shivers ran down his collarbone as he remembered Rey’s words, and he quickly typed his next message before he thought better of it.

**Ben |** _ You’re also a very respectable size._

Her answer came before he could even begin to regret his.

**Rey |** _are you joking, they’re ridiculous_

_Not ridiculous at all,_ he replied within seconds. His heart was pounding at an insane rhythm again, memories of his reflection staring back at him sneaking somewhere between his guilt and the part of him that was trying hard to focus on the conversation. If he focused enough, he could almost see Rey smiling at him as herself. The vibration in his hand pulled him out of his train of thoughts, increasing his smile as he read the new messages lighting the screen.

**Rey |** _thanks : )_

_ now go to bed_

A chuckle almost crossed his lips, widening his eyes at the realization that he could’ve woken up the entire apartment. This wasn’t something he was used to- definitely something he would have to work on. But for now, laughing felt good; especially when it sounded like _this_. He did it again just to hear what Rey’s own laugh would sound like.

_Already am_, he replied. An idea crossed his mind right before he hit send, and he switched the texting app to the camera to snap a picture of his view, then attached it to his message. Rey’s answer was quick to follow, making him scoff softly.

**Rey |** _ god that’s weird_

_ those are my legs_

**Ben |** _I promise I’ll take care of them._

To anyone else, this would’ve sounded inappropriate- but Rey didn’t seem to mind when she sent him one last text that reminded him of the ache in his legs and the sleepiness threatening to close his eyes any moment now.

**Rey |** _thank you_

_ goodnight, Ben_


	3. Dangerous Wishes

As suspected, Ben woke up the next morning in that same little bed, to the sound of boiling water and kitchen cabinets being slammed at the other side of the apartment. The same sort of anxiety that he usually felt during any business trip seized him in the form of a knot tightening around his stomach, but the feeling passed quickly. Sure, this was still unbelievable and unsettling, but his senses weren’t as alert as they’d been the day before. He didn’t feel in danger anymore: Rey was easily reachable by text, and her roommates had managed to make him feel safe enough last night that he wasn’t thinking about an excuse to avoid them. This whole situation was not ideal; yet, the life he’d ended up in could’ve been a lot worse.

Going to work felt more like a curious adventure than a burden, which was just as new as the company Finn and Rose provided during his breakfast. It’d been years since someone had asked him how he’d slept, and even though Rose offered him tea, Ben felt suddenly grateful for it. Each sip tasted a little better knowing she’d done it for him, out of genuine care. Finn even offered to drive him to work, though he didn’t leave the car when they reached the garage, only increasing Ben’s list of questions he wanted to ask Rey.

She’d sent him a text while he was sound asleep: a very detailed planning of how they should get organized for the end of the week, starting with him calling her as soon as his work with Poe was done. And so he did, as soon as he was sure his new boss couldn’t hear him once he passed the Grateful Lantern- which still was a very odd name for a pub that wasn’t near any lantern.

“Hey,” his own voice greeted him after the second ring.

He almost apologized for waking her up- he’d recognized that sleepy voice even if it wasn’t his-, then remembered she’d asked him to do it. “Hey,” he replied instantly. The accent he’d kept all day was still there. “Sleep well?”

A faint groan echoed on the other side. “Better than last- _oh yeah, the voice_.”

Ben let out a chuckle at her reaction, mostly out of nervousness. He definitely understood what she was going through; the first few seconds after waking up had been confusing to him too, along with the first time he’d opened his mouth. Luckily, neither Finn nor Rose had noticed how he’d nearly slipped and forgotten to adapt his natural accent to a British one. Lucky again, none of them had been there to witness how his entire face had gone crimson when he’d had to get dressed and face this new body again.

“You wanted me to call?” Ben asked after clearing his throat.

“Yes, sorry. Um, how was your day?”

This probably wasn’t why she’d made him call and wake her up, but Ben went on and replied anyway. “Good,” he said with the same caution on his accent as he passed a group of teenagers. Their uniforms unsettled him for a moment. “Poe was a bit quiet, though.”

He hadn’t known him for more than a day, but Ben was already concerned about Poe. The man who’d seem rather joyful and easygoing the day before had spent the day giving him faint smiles and forgetting to put music on, sometimes not even hearing whenever Ben called him. Rey replied with a long humming sound, only increasing Ben’s concerns.

“Yeah, he does that sometimes,” she said after a pause.

This wasn’t exactly the answer he’d been waiting for, and Ben knew he shouldn’t ask; yet, he did anyway.

“Is there… anything going on?” he started carefully. “Between them?”

Once again, Rey let out a small laugh he wasn’t sure he’d ever heard coming out of him. “Between who?”

“Between… all of them.”

He accompanied his words with vague movements she couldn’t see, his uneasiness more and more evident. A man passed him with raised eyebrows, looking at him like he was some kind of weird kid- which, right now, he probably was.

“Hm sort of,” Rey said evasively.

She didn’t go any further, leaving Ben hanging with increasing curiosity. “So?” he asked impatiently.

“Ok but promise you won’t say anything.”

This time, he didn’t quite recognize his voice. He’d never heard himself talk like this, which was just as unsettling as hearing himself. It kept him silent as he walked towards the park he’d visited the day before, not quite ready to go home yet.

“Ok,” Rey said after a short hesitation. “They just broke up. Finn and Poe. Not because they don’t love each other, but because Rose likes them.”

A shiver ran over Ben as he sat down on a cold bench, frowning at her words. “Which one?”

“Both of them.” Her tone had regained some confidence, even a hint of that little something Ben had noticed the first time he’d heard her speak with his voice. “They’re sort of… trying to figure it out.”

“Which is code for…?”

“Imminent threesome.”

Ben felt his eyes widen at the bluntness of her words. He hated how his cheeks suddenly warmed up, how he suddenly felt very uncomfortable at the idea of knowing so much about people who were technically strangers to him. Yet, this explained the obvious awkwardness between Finn and Poe.

“London is wild.”

Another one of those foreign laughs echoed in his ear, and Ben found himself wishing he had always laughed like this. He’d never liked his voice, or any sound coming out of him, but Rey was making it sound so much better with so little effort. It was like she was only using the best things in him, in a way he’d never been able to.

“Anyway,” she said once she’d calmed down, “I wanted to ask you about today. What am I supposed to do?”

A sigh left Ben as he glanced at the time displayed on the phone. _Nine o’clock_. His days technically didn’t start before 9:30, but he couldn’t remember a day he hadn’t been there at least an hour early.

“I… guess you could go to work.” A sound that resembled a mattress creaking echoed, followed by footsteps. “You may not make it there in time,” he added hastily as he tried to think quickly about a way not to make it suspicious. “Call Snoke. Tell him you’re working from home today.”

The silence that followed his instructions gave him enough time to second-guess this plan. He’d never done that. Sure, it was an option, one that many of his coworkers liked to use especially on Mondays, but not one he’d ever allowed himself to take. It wasn’t like he’d ever been given a choice; but something told him Rey had it in herself to not be impressed by his boss.

“I can do that?” she finally asked, her voice somewhere between disbelief and excitement.

“Technically, yes.” Ben bit his lips; he could already hear Snoke’s answer: _No. I need you here._ “Just… don’t ask for it- say you’re doing it.”

Rey gave him a hum of approval, then seemed to think for a few seconds before she spoke again. “What’s your job, again?”

_Shit_. They hadn’t been talking about him at all, had they? Guilt seized Ben at the realization. He’d been so anxious he’d showered Rey with questions while she’d just been waiting at his apartment with next to no clue about his own life. He’d gotten a good idea about hers, thanks to her answers and roommates, and she’d just been so patient. If she’d been holding any grudges so far, she’d been hiding them pretty well.

“Right, sorry,” Ben murmured sheepishly. “It’s a publishing company. It’s called First Order.”

The bench felt a little less cold as Ben answered all her questions and tried to explain what his job consisted of. It wasn’t anything she couldn’t do; if he’d learned everything in a week, so could she. Still, he was grateful she didn’t have to leave his apartment just yet- he could guide her through her first day by text, without the fear of Snoke seeing right through her evident inexperience in this field.

“Now go call Snoke,” he concluded ten minutes later. “And don’t forget-”

“The accent,” she cut him off impatiently. “I know.”

All trace of sleepiness had left her, and Ben could almost hear his own accent in the way she delivered the last words. A small smile made it to his mouth. “Good. Anything else?”

“Call me tonight?”

Ben’s smile grew wider.

“I will,” he promised.

It was all he needed to go on with his day: the prospect of another night chat, and with it the unsaid promise that no matter the distance, they were in this together.

Luckily, Rey was a fast learner and only texted him twice in the hours that followed, which made it easier for him to not raise suspicions when her roommates came home. Just like the night before, they had all gathered on the couch with some food- which _thank God_ wasn’t one of those atrocious pizzas- and watched a movie: this time picked by Finn with a knowing smile directed at him as he said something along the lines of ‘belated birthday present’.

“I didn’t know Mrs. Doubtfire could be someone’s favorite movie,” he chuckled two hours later into the phone.

He’d called Rey as soon as he’d heard Rose’s door close at the other side of the corridor, hoping his would be soundproof enough. No one had complained so far or seemed to have woken up, but he’d kept his voice low anyway. Still, a small laugh left him at Rey’s reaction.

“It’s a great movie! What’s yours anyway?”

“I don’t know,” he replied with a shrug. “Do I need to have one?”

“Everybody has one.”

The statement washed over him like a wave of sudden self-consciousness. How long had it been since he’d actually felt something during a movie? He barely ever went to the cinema anymore, and the Netflix selection wasn’t even that good lately. He’d always been more of a book nerd- but then again, it’d been a long time since he’d read for his own pleasure.

“How was your day?” he asked before his feelings got too overwhelming.

Thankfully, Rey didn’t seem to mind the change of topic. “Not bad,” she said. “I’m glad you could help, though.”

“And Snoke?”

“Rude but busy.”

Another chuckle left Ben at her words. The description was quite fitting, and in a way, satisfying: the less Snoke cared about him, the easier it would be to escape his vigilance. Still, something tightened around his stomach at the thought that the man, indeed, didn’t care enough to worry about his unusual behavior. He could almost hear his mother’s voice, warning him about the man she’d tried to keep away from him for so long.

“Ben?”

His own voice pulled him away from his stream of thoughts just as his fists began to clench around the edges of his sleeves. “Yes?”

“I said you should talk to Rose.”

The knot around his stomach loosened immediately, only to tighten more than before. “Talk to Rose?”

“She’s into witchcraft and other spiritual things,” Rey continued. “She might have an idea about what happened.”

That explained the sage. And the infusions. Ben turned to the nightstand next to the bed, eyeing the tea Rose had given him before going to bed- something smelly and rather dark. “Like that works.”

“Are you really going to question this when we swapped bodies?”

A sigh crossed his lips. She was right, as much as his science-oriented brain hated it. “Alright,” he groaned. His back met the mattress with a thud as he threw himself on Rey’s bed. “I guess she’s our only hope.”

“For now, yes. But we can trust her.”

Ben stared at the ceiling for a moment, his breathing deep and calm as he tried to process what she was asking of him. He could always refuse; the worst Rey could do was be mad at him, but this wasn’t something he wasn’t used to. Everybody got mad at him eventually.

But she was right. And he hated how right she was.

“Fine. I’ll talk to her tomorrow.”

A sigh of relief echoed through the phone. “Thank you.”

Her accent was back, brightening his voice up with that little something Ben couldn’t quite place. Something rough yet soft, something authentic, something _Rey_. It painted the hint of a smile at the corner of his lips- _her_ lips. His hand rose instinctively, tracing the shape of it with the tip of his new fingers. He wondered if this looked like the smile he’d seen on her old pictures.

“Can I order something?” Rey asked suddenly. “I’m starving, and your protein shakes taste awful.”

Shit, his fridge must have been very empty if she’d fed herself with his shakes. Guilt almost seized him but was quickly defeated by the memory of the pizza from the night before. “Better than jellied eels,” he retorted with disgust.

She let out an offended sound at it and then proceeded to try to convince him that the abomination was indeed very good when well cooked, like in a pie or, in her case, on pizza. Nothing reasonable resulted from the debate they went through, but it did keep them talking for a good half hour. Rey defended her country’s cuisine until the last minute while Ben commented on her examples with various sounds of disgust, making the two of them laugh a little more every time Rey tried to change his mind only to fail a little more.

“Oh, I think the food’s here,” she said when the bell rang on her side. “I can stay on the line though.”

“No, go- I’m falling asleep anyway.” A yawn left him with perfect timing. “Enjoy the sushi.”

“Thanks. Let me know about Rose.”

The sound of footsteps echoed again, followed by the familiar rustling of what he knew were his hands going through his jacket’s pockets. Another smile left him as he told her which coat to search, and the code of his card. “I’ll tell you everything,” he promised. “Now go eat something.”

She did something with his voice; an amused, carefree giggle he didn’t know he could do. It was the second time she’d made him appreciate something about himself that day. It rendered him mute as she thanked him and wished him goodnight before she ended the call, leaving him in a comfortable silence as he slowly felt himself stumbling to a sleepy state with much more ease than the day before.

**\- - -**

The following morning, Ben woke up with close to no panic for the first time in three days, reinvigorated and relaxed. According to Poe’s goodbye from the day before, today was the first day of his weekend, which meant no alarm set early and an excuse to oversleep.

It’d been months, _years_, since he’d last allowed himself more than five hours in bed. Weekends usually had him panicking back in Brooklyn: too much free time with too little ways to fill it. Even though he didn’t exactly like his job, at least it kept him busy. Snoke kept him busy, and Armitage sometimes; and when none of them would, he found other things to focus on. Marathon training, when the weather allowed it- and when it didn’t, the gym did the trick. It was solitary, but at least kept his mind busy.

Rey never mentioned her having a gym membership or interest in any activity, but if he had to guess, he supposed her weekends were very similar to her evenings: spent in the company of her friends. The thought dragged him back to the promise he’d made the night before, and suddenly, his Saturday felt a little more complicated.

Rose. He had to talk to Rose.

A loud sigh left him as he sat in the middle of the bed, his eyes struggling to remain open. Rey’s phone was still on the nightstand, its screen filled with various texts from her that he quickly opened.

**Rey |** _ the sushi was amazing_

**Rey |** _hey what’s the netflix password?_

**Rey |** _nvm found it_

A picture was attached to the last one: boxes of takeout scattered over his coffee table, all empty, with his TV in the background. It took him a few seconds to realize the movie she was watching was Mrs. Doubtfire, and a few more to notice the middle finger rose in front of the screen.

He scoffed at that, raising his finger as well for comparison. Her hand was twice as smaller than his, but also much more calloused on the edges- still, her palms remained as soft as the skin on their back. A blush threatened to seize his cheeks as Ben remembered the other soft spots of her body. He quickly chased the memories with a shake of his head, face hot with embarrassment. Maybe a jog later wouldn’t be a bad idea. Going now was very tempting, but Ben resisted the pull and jumped out of bed instead, focusing on the task he’d been assigned.

Not a sound echoed around the apartment as he ventured out of the room; not a sound until he reached the corridor leading to the bathroom and passed Rose’s room. Before he could think about a way to word his situation or even wake her, the door opened partially on the young woman’s face, her eyes full of concern.

“Hey, sunshine. You’re up early?”

Was he? Nine actually felt like a late morning. “Yeah, I suppose.”

“You alright?”

He hesitated for a few seconds, then one too many. “Not… exactly. Can we talk?”

The woman’s eyes narrowed briefly then she nodded, stepping aside to let him in as if they’d done it a million times before. But then again, maybe they had.

A strong smell immediately hit him, warm and spicy. It was somewhere between the smell of a Christmas market and his mother’s garden, the whole thing followed by the scent of wood. It could’ve felt like too much, yet, for some reason, Ben found it inexplicably welcoming. When Rose closed the door behind him, he took a glance at the room, curious and embarrassed all at once.

Just like its perfume, Rose’s room was full. Full of shelves, books, pictures and other things that made her space look like a small cabin in the woods full of memories and collectibles. A particular shelf close to the window caught his attention: only one book was on it, surrounded by colorful stones and wooden boxes of various shapes and sizes. Under it, what he first mistook for tinsels appeared to be dried plants hanging upside down- which explained the garden smell.

“So,” Rose began with a smile. “What’s bugging you?”

She sat at the edge of her bed, her long black hair tied in a messy bun. She didn’t look like someone who’d just woken up: she was wearing the same black jeans he’d seen her in the day before and had wrapped herself in a grey tunic. Another sigh left Ben as he realized what he was about to say.

“It’s, erm, hard to explain.” A nervous laugh crossed his lips as he looked away. “You wouldn’t believe me.”

“I’ll always believe you.”

The sincerity of her words, of her tone, encouraged Ben to look up and meet her eyes again; and at that moment, the way she looked at him shook something within him. The trust in her eyes, the utter devotion and concern in the way she tilted her head to the side warmed his heart and somehow made him jealous. Because he wasn’t the one she was looking at; all this love was directed to her Rey. Rey who’d spent the last two days alone, far from the ones she loved and who loved her.

“I’m not me.”

Rose tilted her head to the other side with a frown. “As in you don’t feel like yourself?”

God, she really wasn’t going to make it easier. Ben ran a hand through his hair and gritted his teeth, trying hard not to avoid the young woman’s look as he continued, determined not to chicken out.

“I’m not… _her_,” he added tentatively. “This isn’t Rey.”

“Rey, what are you-”

“Ben,” he corrected. “My name is Ben.”

The amused smile that’d begun to bloom on her face disappeared gradually as understanding seemed to hit Rose. She stayed silent for a long moment that felt like hours, staring at him from her bed like he’d just announced something she was highly skeptical about. The joyful roommate facade quickly made way to a more serious face as she got up, not once breaking eye contact.

“Rose-?”

The silence persisted, only filled by the sound of her bare feet as she slowly walked around him, inspecting him with her eyes for only tool. Once, twice- she made three full circles before she finally stopped and took his face between her hands and planted her eyes into his like she was searching for something. Her hands were warm against his cheek, soft and careful; still, Ben couldn’t help the instinct that pushed him to back away immediately at the contact.

When their eyes met again, her look had changed.

“You’re not Rey,” she breathed out.

Where he’d dreaded to be met with fear or anger, all Ben saw was realization. Her frown was gone, but the concern was back along with a new sort of curiosity.

“I’m not.”

“How?”

To Ben’s greatest surprise, the words left him with ease as he began to explain what he’d been living for the past two days. From his first morning here to the reality checks, he tried to give as many details as he could, praying that she would believe him and not blame it on drugs or wild imagination. Something in Rose seemed to relax when he mentioned Rey’s phone calls, her face a little brighter than before.

“Two days ago,” she repeated once he was done. “You said it was your birthday too?”

“Yes,” Ben confirmed immediately. “Does it mean something?”

A shrug shook her shoulders as she scanned him again, her eyes boring into his with this curiosity again. “How old are you?”

“Thirty.”

The answer surprised him both by its evidence and its reality. _Thirty_. He’d turned _thirty_ two days ago, but his life was nowhere close to what he’d once thought it would be. Still, he hadn’t expected it to shock Rose that much: her eyes went wide and she left her bed, walking around her room like she was searching for something, a few words in incomprehensible gibberish leaving her mouth.

“What now?”

“Seven,” she repeated. “It’s a powerful number. The moon influences many things, but- hold on.”

She stopped by the shelf he’d noticed earlier and grabbed a heavy notebook from which a few pages were threatening to fall. The cover looked rather modern, scattered with sprinkles and engraved stars- but when she opened it, Ben caught glimpse of some scribbles handwritten among the pages, sometimes accompanied by sketches or glued pictures.

“Ah. Yes. Intentions.” She placed her index between two pages, keeping them open as she began to read. “_The full moon is propitious to changes, cleansing and charging energies. It is also the most suitable phase to work with when pursuing one’s desire or setting intentions._ Did you… wish for anything?”

Something about the way she said it felt a tad judgmental for someone who seemed to believe in moon phases and their influence, but Ben chose to ignore it and focus on his memories instead. He remembered the dinner, the restaurant Snoke had chosen and the supposedly fancy menu. He remembered how boring the evening had been, Hux with his annoying habit of correcting people’s grammar and how sad it’d been that out of the millions of people on this earth, these two were the ones he was spending his birthday with.

It wasn’t like he’d had a choice- Snoke wasn’t exactly someone he could say no to, and Hux… well, Hux was their boss’s shadow. The three of them had only met out of the office for work-related matters; and yet, for some reason, Snoke had insisted on taking them out for his birthday. Ben remembered the awkwardness of being offered to spend what was supposed to be one of his most important birthdays with work acquaintances; but worst, he remembered the self-pity of accepting it. Because, as awkward and sad as it was, these two were the only people he had shared a semblance of relationship with.

Ben let out a sigh as he focused back on the evening. He remembered how even the care hadn’t been that good, and how he’d fought the desire to roll his eyes while blowing the candles as the waiter told him to make a wish-

_Make a wish._

He’d rolled his eyes, blown the candles and made just that- _a wish_.

“I did,” he blurted.

“Can I ask you what?”

He hated what he was about to say. He hated that he’d even wished for it. “I wished to get away from my shitty life,” he recited with disbelief as the details came rushing back to him. “I wished I…” He paused briefly, smiling at how stupid and pathetic he’d been. “I wished I wouldn’t feel so alone anymore.”

If Rose had been rather composed so far, his last words seemed to unsettle her a little. Something passed in her eyes, something Ben couldn’t quite decipher. She remained silent for a moment then rose a hand to his shoulder, but stopped herself at the very last moment, seeming to recall his earlier reaction to physical contact.

“Sorry- can I...?”

Ben nodded vaguely, allowing her hand to rest on his shoulder and squeeze it lightly. She pulled away two seconds later, careful like he was some feral creature that could attack her at any time. He couldn’t really blame her; she didn’t know who he really was and, for all he knew, could be lying about his identity.

“It sounds insane,” she murmured. “But I believe you.” Her eyes averted to the notebook in her hand. “I can’t say for sure, but if I had to guess, I think the universe heard your wish and…”

Her voice trailed off as she proceeded to flip through the pages again, leaving Ben anticipating every time she opened her mouth only to close it again.

“Seven- it’s a very powerful number,” she repeated. “You and Rey were born exactly seven years apart. This must’ve created some sort of link between the two of you when you made your wish. You were asking for a full change and some company and… well, you got it.”

It _did_ sound insane. Like something straight out of a Christmas movie, with a naive conclusion and some silly song on top of a happy-ever-after montage. It would’ve been ridiculous enough for this; and yet, Ben couldn’t deny that it was, indeed, very much happening. No songs blasted out of nowhere as he felt a strong sense of guilt hitting him. If Rose’s theory was correct, this was his fault. His fault, and no one else’s, all because he’d been strung out enough to make some stupid wish that seemed to have actually worked.

“How do we fix this?” he asked, swallowing the lump that’d started to form in his throat.

Rose hummed something as she finished reading her page, then looked back at him. “I would wait for the next full moon.”

“That’s it? I just… wait and make a wish under a full moon?”

“It’s all I can think of,” Rose said with a shrug. “It’ll give me a few weeks to gather some things and find a chicken to slaughter. _Joking_,” she added when his eyes widened.

She closed her notebook with a brisk movement and gave him the same warm smile he’d seen on her for the last two days. “Well, glad to meet you, Ben.”

**\- - -**

The rest of the day went surprisingly well. After an hour-long conversation with Rose who insisted she wanted to know more about him, Ben managed to leave the apartment for a well-deserved jogging session around the neighborhood. He got lost a few times, found his way back then got lost again, and only stopped when his stomach complained through loud growls. Even though London was different than New York, there was something both cities had in common: street food. Luckily, Rey seemed to be in the habit of forgetting money in the pockets of her jacket, leaving Ben with just enough to get himself the nice burger that’d lured him into running a few more streets in search of its delicious smell.

The apartment was still silent when he came back hours later, tired and sore from his long walk. A square, green piece of paper had been glued on his door, informing him that both Rose and Finn had left but would be back before dinner. This wasn’t exactly what he’d been expecting, but Ben found himself surprisingly grateful for the few hours of calm. He hadn’t had much of it lately, and something told him that Rose had felt it and tried to give him enough space for him to call Rey- which he did as soon as she gave him a sign of life.

“A month,” she repeated once he was done. “Okay. That’s… a lot.”

“I know,” Ben breathed out. “I’m sorry.”

“Why are you sorry?”

Within seconds, the remorse and guilt he’d managed to chase away during the day resumed with greater intensity. “It’s my fault,” he explained. “I… I made a wish on my birthday.”

“Ben-”

“And we have an exact seven-year age difference, which Rose said could’ve connected us and-”

“_Ben_. I made a wish, too.”

Her firm tone made him stop right away, his heart pounding in his chest as he processed what she’d just said. For a moment, he forgot that the voice she’d been using wasn’t exactly hers- all he could hear was the panic in her words, the way her accent got more noticeable anytime she said his name, and a hint of relief in the breath she let out.

“You… what?”

“I made a wish,” she repeated. “I think I did.”

A mass of emotions passed through her voice, all more contradictory than the other. They all vanished progressively as Ben felt the knot around his stomach loosen a little, letting him take a deep breath. “What did you wish for?”

“I…” A sigh left her, shaky and hesitant. “Don’t tell Rose, ok?”

He gave him a nod she couldn’t see, silently encouraging her to continue.

“I love her. I love her, and Finn, and Poe, but… I don’t know. I was feeling alone. I’ve always felt alone, but lately… they’re all getting together in some way, and I just… I’d never felt _so_ alone.”

The last words left her in a whisper; she’d obviously been keeping these forbidden thoughts for a long time. Maybe she’d even tried to ignore them. Ben knew the feeling. He knew all about feeling lonely in a crowded room and long nights with nightmares for only companions. These were all memories he’d buried deep inside years ago, but he didn’t mind sharing them tonight.

“Charlie and the Chocolate Factory,” he murmured.

A sniff echoed on Rey’s side, followed by a strangled, “what?”

“It’s my favorite movie.”

She sniffed one more time, and Ben swore he could hear the hint of a smile in his own voice when she spoke again. “Why?”

“I always wished my family was as united as Charlie’s. My mother wasn’t home a lot, and neither was my father. Both my uncles spent their life flying around the globe, and I never met my grandparents. I always wished I could get them all to sit on a giant bed and tell me stories, like Charlie’s grandfather.”

The faint giggle he heard in his ear made Ben smile despite how gritted his teeth were. These weren’t memories he had planned to explore again; but if this was the price he had to pay to hear Rey laugh, well, he could handle it.

“I always hoped I’d get my own Mrs. Doubtfire,” she murmured. “Someone who would love me enough to just… you know, fight for me. Someone who would care about me.”

“I think your friends care about you,” Ben remarked.

“But for how long.”

The way she said it, Ben felt his heart fall a few inches inside his chest. Now, _this_ tone, he knew it; he’d heard it from himself way too often to know the sorrow that’d reached her. He knew the doubts and fears behind it, and how much she believed the words she’d just said.

“For what it’s worth,” he offered tentatively, “I care about you.” A small ‘_thanks’_ echoed through the line as he took a deep breath and gathered his courage to add, “You’re not alone, you know. Not anymore.”

The short silence that followed made him wonder if he’d gone too far until Rey spoke again. “Neither are you.”

This time, his heart dropped down to his knees and missed a beat on its way. When it came back to a normal pace, Ben held the phone close in his palm, listening to the sound of Rey’s sniffing and her heavy breathings as she, too, seemed to regain some control on the body she currently inhabited.

“Hey, Ben?” she asked after a moment. “Put the phone down.”

A frown crossed his face at her request, but Ben placed the device on his chest without further queries. “Done.”

“Put your hands together.”

Even though he wasn’t used to being given orders, Ben obeyed dutifully. His eyes remained on his hands as their palms met, watching the fingers lace together with wonder.

“Close your eyes,” Rey continued. “Now it’s like we’re together.”

Whatever she did with his voice made him want to believe anything she said, but also hear it from her own. His grip tightened at the idea, almost crushing the other hand. If he thought about it hard enough, it was like holding someone else’s hand. Like holding Rey’s hand. The sheer thought of it made him smile, and he held onto it even tighter. For now on, they had each other. For the next four weeks at least, he could count on her as much as she could count on him. And for a long time, her words would remain engraved into his brain like a promise he would hold onto anytime loneliness felt like too much of a burden.

“Like we’re together,” he repeated in a low voice, his fingers absently tracing the lines of her palms.


	4. Full Moon and Playing Hands

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay! I hope everyone has a good time watching TRoS ♥  
And I should have expected that, but the chapter count changed haha. More in a week or two!!

The following weeks were immensely easier with Rose sharing their secret.

Walking around the apartment didn’t feel like walking on eggshells anymore, which was a relief given how much Finn managed to make Ben nervous. As friendly and funny as he was, the man seemed to have a tendency to ask the questions that made Ben feel trapped. Rose came to his rescue most of the time, saving him with an ease he could only admire; and with each discreet wink she gave him, Ben felt more and more at home. Every day felt a little easier than the one before; and before he knew it, he found himself actually comfortable in this new life. Sure, this room had nothing to do with the spacious one he’d left behind in Brooklyn and he was sometimes suspicious of the food, but he could see why Rey wanted to come back so bad.

There wasn’t a night when she didn’t ask about her friends, and truth be told, Ben always felt his heart tinge a little whenever she manifested some eagerness to come back. Despite the obvious awkwardness and pining whenever they were around each other, Finn and Poe made a hilarious pair: the mechanic made the days at work worth getting up, and Finn- Finn reminded him of his mother, always making sure everyone was ok. None of them ever seemed to judge or mistrust him, especially Rose, despite having every reason to. She always placed a mug in his hands whenever he came back home, always had something strange yet somehow interesting to say. But as welcoming as she was, she reminded him of the reality of the situation: this perfect life would eventually be back to its true owner. Soon, Rey would see her friends again. And soon, Ben would lose all of this, without any of them even noticing his absence.

If everything went according to plan, Ben would be back in Brooklyn in just a few hours.

“So… big night, tonight,” he breathed out when Rey picked up her phone.

What had begun as daily reports had quickly become hours-long conversations they religiously committed to every night. The time difference wasn’t in Ben’s favor, and had soon made him sleep-deprived enough that a hint of dark circles had begun to appear under his eyes. He felt guilty every time his eyes caught sight of it in a mirror, always made a mental note to ask Rose for some mystical solution to fix this. It was Rey’s body, after all, and he’d promised to take care of it; but the appeasing effect she had on him was just too good to resist. Hearing his own voice had become usual enough for him not to flinch whenever Rey picked up. It’d become usual enough for him not to notice and, lately, even smile at that very Rey thing that currently made it more hers than his.

Their conversations had become more natural and intimate. Rey never missed an opportunity to complain about his job, or Snoke, but Ben couldn’t really blame her: the job was boring, and Snoke… well, he could understand. So he always let her rant, patiently waited for the frustration to be let out. The only time she didn’t was the day he found out what having periods felt like, and he’d rather hear her complain for hours than experience it ever again. Tonight, though, not a single insult left her mouth as they began their traditional phone call.

She was excited to get it over with; he could tell by how absent she sounded as she let out a pensive hum. She’d expressed how much she missed her life, how lonely she felt in his; and as much as Ben tried, he knew none of his promises would ever be enough to fill the emptiness she felt. He knew it because, as much as these little tricks they’d developed had helped him go through the most lonely nights, they wouldn’t be of any help when his time came to feel the emptiness again. She would forget about him. She would get back to her happy, easy life and leave him behind, because why would she need him when everything she needed was here?

He didn’t want this to end. He really, really didn’t want to go back, but he had to- for her. So he cleared his throat and put on the casual mask as he spoke again, doing his best not to let his worries show through his words.

“So, what’s the first thing you’ll do when you get your body back?”

A giggle echoed in Ben’s ear, warming his heart in the most aching yet delightful way. “I think we’ll both do the same thing,” Rey replied with another laugh.

He couldn’t help noticing the absence of frustration in her voice, tonight. And even though he loved hearing her like this, Ben also noticed how his own enthusiasm was forced as he let out a chuckle. He would miss that- her laugh in his ear before falling asleep and her soothing words whenever everything felt like a blur. He would miss her surprising, clever ideas- hell, he would even miss her weirdest requests such as hugging himself for her. He hoped she’d miss him, sometimes.

“We will?”

“Ben, come on- don’t tell me you don’t miss it.”

“Miss what?”

A silence fell between them as Ben began to understand what she was talking about. The worries he’d carried all day suddenly disappeared. A second passed, then two, before Rey spoke again, hesitant and somewhat curious. “You mean you didn’t…?”

A warm sensation washed over Ben at her words, accompanied by a hint of guilt. It wasn’t like he hadn’t thought about it- each showering was torture- but every time his mind went there, his body froze. He just couldn’t, didn’t know where to start. Whenever his hands grazed too close to his thighs, a shame he thought he’d gotten rid of seized him all over again. This felt like something he couldn’t do; this was way too intimidating, way too… _unknown_, even for someone who’d inserted tampons there just a week ago.

“Well, we never talked about…um…”

The rest of the words died on his lips as a heavy silence fell between them.

“Oh.” Another silence followed, this time shorter. “Yeah, we… never talked about it.”

She sounded like she wanted to add something for a moment, but fell silent again. Luckily, Ben knew his own voice, and was beginning to know hers, too. His eyes went wide as he noticed the embarrassment in her voice, but a chuckle left him when he recognized a hint of guilt mixed in with it.

“Rey? Did you…?”

“I’m so sorry,” she mumbled. “Oh my god I’m sorry, I assumed-”

A nervous giggle followed her apology, accompanied by a horrified gasp that made Ben smile incredulously. His own worries about the thoughts he’d had suddenly felt ridiculous, and he let out a laugh as he sat on the bed. “It’s ok,” he assured, “it’s me who didn’t… dare.”

“Well, do you… want to?”

The question left Rey in a murmur, hesitant and so unreal that Ben wondered for a moment if he’d imagined it. Because _of_ _course_ he wanted to; he’d be lying to himself if he said he hadn’t wondered how touching this body felt. He’d had sex with women before, but experiencing it as one… this was something he wouldn’t be able to live ever again, and the fact that this was Rey… It was just a bonus. A beautiful, fascinating bonus.

“Ben?”

_Yes_. “I… I don’t know.” _Yes_. “Do you mind?”

“Of course not. It’s probably our last night,” she reminded him. “I would do it.”

Something in the way she said it made him wonder if she felt it, too. The anticipation, the fear of this full moon plan not working and the fear that it _could_. He wondered if going back to normal was as scary for her as it was for him; but mostly, he wondered if, like him, she already mourned their daily calls. He wondered if she’d call him again, from time to time. When the fears started to flood his heart again and pull at his throat, Ben put them aside and focused on their current conversation- the one he was trying hard not to think too much about. _Once_. His eyes drifted to the shorts he’d put on after his shower, then on the hand that wasn’t holding the phone. _Just once._

“What if I’m bad at it?”

“Then I’ll teach you.”

Her murmur hit Ben right in the chest, spreading through his body at an alarming pace. This wasn’t like teaching him to put on a bra or telling him about period protections- this was a whole other level of intimacy that, despite their open-hearted conversations, they hadn’t reached yet. It felt like a point of no-return- but hell, switching back was a point of no-return too. He might never talk to her again. He might never _see_ her again.

Might never _touch_ her at all.

“Ok. What… what do I do?”

The seconds that preceded Rey’s answer felt like hours. His heart was beating at an insane rhythm, anticipating her next words like a matter of life or death. “Switch off the lights,” she finally instructed, “and take a breath. What are you wearing?”

His hand fumbled with the switch behind him. “A… T-shirt,” he replied as he plunged the room into darkness. “And pajama shorts.”

“No underwear?”

“Yes, underwear.”

“Ben, _relax_.”

_Ben. _She rarely said his name, but it always left him surprised and frustrated at the same time. There was a softness in the way it rolled off her tongue, a kindness that made him want to hear it again and again. For the first time today, switching back felt like a wonderful idea if it meant he got to hear her say it with her actual voice. The accent would kill him, for sure.

“Ok. _Ok_.” A shuddered breath left him as he carefully laid down on the bed until his head sunk into the pillow. “Where do I start?”

“Touch your breast.”

The heat he’d felt spreading through his body suddenly rushed to his face at her words. If he wanted to stop without crossing the point of no-return, this would be the moment. But again, Ben didn’t feel like stopping- if this was to be the last time they spoke to each other, he’d rather not waste it. Still, something in him reminded him that maybe _she_ didn’t want it. Maybe she was taking pity on him. “You’re sure? I mean, it’s _yours_-”

“Ben, touch the fucking boob. I’m completely ok with this.”

The blush on his face only increased, so much he wondered if anyone would be able to notice despite the ambient darkness. She managed to make the most basic words hot. She managed to make _his voice_ hot.

Hesitant, Ben placed his free hand on the left breast, the T-shirt protecting both of them. “Done.”

“Don’t just touch it, you want to… feel it.” A ruffling echoed through the device, then she spoke again. “Alright, drop the top.”

He obeyed immediately, wiggling his way out of the large T-shirt he’d found in her top drawer. A breeze of fresh air tickled his skin as the fabric met the floor in a muffled sound, making him feel automatically self-conscious about what he was about to do. “Done,” he repeated, his heartbeat slightly more rhythmed.

“Now do it again, and tell me how it feels.”

His hand fell back on her breast; and this time, new sensations came to him. He’d felt her skin with every shower, but had never taken the time and liberty to properly appreciate it. This was far from the thick skin of her thighs or her calloused hands: it was thin, delicate and hypnotizing. The strong, confident Rey he’d gotten to know suddenly felt incredibly vulnerable. _He_ felt vulnerable. Slowly, his fingers gave a slight squeeze then grazed the goosebumps emerging on his skin.

“Soft,” he said in a murmur. “Tickling.”

His thumb grazed over the nipple, then glided along the skin until his palm reached the other breast and covered it. What first felt intimidating became gradually easier, until it felt comforting. When his movements weren’t hesitant anymore, Ben opened his mouth again to ask for the next steps, hoping his voice was still as confident as he wanted it to be.

“Move to your hips,” Rey instructed. “_Slowly_.”

The familiar sound of raindrops landing on the window began to echo, wrapping him with a feeling of intimacy he wasn’t sure he’d ever felt before. This wasn’t even as awkward as he’d imagined; Rey was just guiding him through something she knew. She was just teaching him something about her own body- this wasn’t at all like having sex. This wasn’t more awkward than teaching him how to use a tampon- she’d been on the phone, too, and it hadn’t been sexual at all.

Nothing sexual, really.

A new wave of goosebumps emerged on his skin as his hand trailed down his torso to his hips. _Rey’s hips_, he reminded himself. _Rey’s hand_. His eyes closed as he focused on the sensation of her fingers on his stomach. She would feel way smaller on his actual body, would be _so_ easy to envelop with just one of his arms.

“You there yet?”

“Almost.” The word left him through gritted teeth, followed by a sigh when he reached his hips like she’d told him. “Yes.”

“Good. Try… getting comfortable with the area.”

“Getting- what?”

A chuckle echoed through the device, increasing the heat on his face. “Just… oh, my God. Touch your abdomen, your thighs, your… whatever’s around. Be gentle and make it last until you naturally want to touch it.”

_It_. There was some discretion in the way she avoided this specific word, which only made Ben a little more confident. “Is that how you do it?”

A silence followed his question, making him wonder if he’d gone too far. He almost withdrew his hand when Rey spoke again, the hint of a smile in her tone as she murmured, “maybe.”

God, this accent- she was going to kill him when he finally heard her real voice. The sheer thought sent a wave of something through him- something he couldn’t quite recognize but felt like he knew. Her answer only brought new questions to him as he followed her instructions and started caressing the skin above his underwear. Was pleasure dictated by the body, or the soul inhabiting it? Would he like the same things she did? Would _she_ like what he did? His hand moved to the inside of his thighs, grazing the side of the cotton fabric. Had she done it a lot? Had she liked it? He had a feeling the technique was way easier on his side- or _hers_, right now. All she’d had to do was a back-and-forth movement and find her rhythm between the grip and the pace- nothing too complicated. What he had to do, though, seemed way more intricate; but he kept grazing the skin, drawing closer to the apex of his thighs with each movement. Soon enough, his finger found the beginning of the soft thatch of hair he’d grown familiar with after so many showers- and when they did, something in him seemed to wake up, urging him to draw closer.

This _had_ to be a good sign. Still careful in his gestures, Ben used the tip on the nails to graze a little closer, up and down his thigh, until the sensation came back. Yes, this had to be the way. The itch between his legs became stronger, begging him for attention- and, as intimidating as it was, Ben indulged it.

A soft gasp left him as he spread his palm over his core, his fingers barely grazing the itchy fabric.

“I’m there,” he murmured into the phone.

Something that sounded like a chuckle echoed through the device, followed by Rey’s amused tone. “Now try rubbing little circles around, and focus on where it feels good.”

Ben gave a useless nod and did as he was told. The motion quickly became easier as he moved naturally to where his instincts told him to. After a few seconds of rubbing, a faint tickling sensation appeared under his fingers, only to vanish almost immediately. “I- sort of felt something.”

“Sort of?”

“A tickle, but- I’m not sure. Might just be the fabric, it’s kind of itchy.”

“The fabric?”

His fingers stopped moving at the surprise in her voice. He was pretty sure he’d mentioned his current outfit. “Yeah, that yellow thing,” he said with a brief glance at the underwear he’d picked earlier. “The fabric’s rather thick.”

“What the- _Ben, take off the pants_.”

“I’m not wearing any-”

“Oh for fuck’s sake, the _panties_! Take them off!”

She let out a long giggle at her own words, causing Ben to mirror her as quietly as he could. This had to be the most ridiculous and hilarious masturbation session he’d ever had. Shaking with laughter, he gripped the edges of what little clothes he still had on and stopped himself. “What if someone walks in?”

Rey seemed to think for a moment, leaving him with a short silence before answering. “Just slip your hand down there,” she said with another giggle. “Pick up where you left off.”

A wave of shivers emerged on his skin as Ben trailed his hand up to his stomach then down the underwear. He didn’t realize how cold his fingers were until they passed the loosened elastic- the skin beneath was warm, if not boiling. A new eruption of goosebumps followed as his fingers wandered further, further, until the skin began to feel thinner, softer, and way more similar to what he knew. His index went down a few inches, curiously exploring the folds he’d always tried not to stare at. He didn’t have many memories of the few hookups he’d had: some meaningless make-out sessions that usually ended up with a few minutes of messy thrusts. None of them had ever felt good enough for him to try again, but _this_\- this felt like it could be better than anything he’d ever done with those strangers. It made him want to maybe give it another try, once he found someone worth it.

“Found your clit?” Rey asked as he began rubbing circles again.

“How do I kno- _oh_-”

The hand holding the phone squeezed around its shape as the tickling sensation came back, stronger and closer. It did feel better than what little sex he’d had- and if this was only the beginning, he couldn’t begin to imagine the hidden part of the iceberg. Another one of these little laughs left Rey; one of those that made him forget he was listening to his own voice.

“Sounds like you found it.”

Delicately, Ben repeated the motion, only to feel the tickles increase in his abdomen. “Yeah,” he confirmed in a breath, “I think I did.”

“Then keep going.”

She said it in such a low voice it took Ben a minute to focus back on his original task. She didn’t seem like she was planning to hang up, and truth be told, he didn’t mind keeping her close. If this really was their last night, he didn’t want to lose a single second of her presence- and if her words had a positive effect on him, well, this was only part of her helping him.

The tickles progressively spread, soon reaching his stomach and thighs. His body felt infinitely warmer, and his hand- God, how he wished he had his actual hands. Rey’s were nimble, but his would cover so much more at once. The thought of it made him shudder as he now pictured himself in his own body, doing the exact same thing to the real Rey. He wouldn’t be as delicate, but his hands would easily cup her entirely, and hers- _hers would feel just perfect around his cock._

A strangled moan left him at this idea.

“Don’t go too fast,” Rey said as another wave of pleasure threatened to burn him from the inside. “Make it last.”

His hand slowed down, but his chest didn’t stop heaving. With each deep breath, another part of him awakened. His back felt more relaxed, his legs lighter than they’d ever been as he kept stimulating the most sensitive skin burning under his touch. With every stroke, his fingers went a little lower, until he felt their tips getting wet as they brushed the entrance. Something in him seemed to clench, but he didn’t stop; his strokes became faster, and his breath a little shorter.

“I’m- it’s wet,” he breathed out

“Try a finger or two.”

She sounded just as breathless as he was, but Ben remained focused on her words. One finger seemed doable, but _two_\- most Pringles cups didn’t allow him to go fish for the deepest chips. It took him a second to remember this wasn’t his hand, and another to realize that given the circumstances, two _could_ fit. Chuckling at his idiocy, he extended his arm a little more and let his middle finger glide along the entrance and slowly pushed it inside, following the natural curve of Rey’s body. His hips followed, rolling a little as to adjust themselves to the intrusion until the third knuckle disappeared inside, accompanied with a satisfying sensation.

“This is-”

“I know. Don’t stop.”

Her tone was more authoritative, less patient. Hadn’t she kept her accent, it could’ve sounded like his actual voice- still, Ben obeyed and pumped his finger in and out as his thumb picked up with the small circles he’d begun to trace around the clit. It took a minute for him to find his rhythm- but once he did, the pleasure waves started to kick again, bigger and longer.

He wished she could feel the way he felt right now. He wished he could hear the way his name sounded in her voice, with her accent. But mostly, he wished he could be the one to make her feel like that. Just when he thought about asking her to speak again, a spasm shook his legs, starting from his abdomen and running through his entire body at an alarming pace.

“I think I’m close,” he murmured between gritted teeth.

“Then come,” Rey replied with an equally breathless voice.

The spasms doubled, faster, until he could feel the familiar fireworks building up inside of him. His hips rolled above the mattress as his fingers kept their rhythm, swift and messy as he felt the promise of release approaching. His back arched as he felt his toes curling, his fingers guided with Rey’s whispered encouragements- and in just a few seconds, he came with a series of gasps and her name on his lips.

It was different from the orgasms he knew and yet similar in a way. The sensation of relief was there, along with the euphoria and intense fatigue. A familiar sense of inevitability seized him as he slowed his movements, allowing his body to revel through the electroshocks sent all over it. Of course, nothing in him felt empty- not at all. If anything, he felt full, his inside clenching more than ever around the finger he still hadn’t withdrawn completely. Everything in him seemed to vibrate with intensity for a few seconds and then stopped suddenly.

The room became quiet again as he regained control of his breathing, his body slowly getting cold and heavy.

“I can see why you miss it,” he murmured once he trusted his voice again.

Rey’s chuckle echoed again, filling him with regrets as he remembered the deadline hanging above them both. As much as he liked to hear Rey’s accent mingling with his voice, he couldn’t help smiling every time she laughed. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d laugh that much. It had to be since childhood, or his early teenage years- he didn’t even know how his body had remembered it. The happy part of him had been asleep for so long- he wasn’t sure how to reawaken it by himself once he got back under his true skin. Rey seemed to be doing a much better job than him at it; he wasn’t even sure he would know how to fall asleep without her complaining to him every night.

“I’ll miss you,” he blurted out when she stopped laughing.

She seemed taken aback for a second, then replied softly, “I’ll miss you too.”

There was a hint of a smile in her tone, sweet and sincere. “I don’t want to miss you.”

“You won’t. I’m not done with you.”

His whole chest fell under the weight of his fears vanishing. This felt like a promise, and Rey had said she never made careless promises. With his chest still bare and sweating, Ben sat on the bed with his hand crushing the phone against his ear. The movement induced a slight breeze that grazed his nipples like a cold caress as various thoughts started to bloom in his mind. Thoughts about calling her the day after, and the following ones. Thoughts about taking some days off for a London visit. Thoughts about walking next to her across the park he liked to go to for a run. Thoughts about holding her hand, maybe- with his, this time.

“We could… maybe-”

“I could visit you, someday. Next week?”

Once again, she beat him to it. “You could,” he approved with a hasty nod. “That would be great.”

“It would.”

Another one of those comfortable pauses fell between them that painted a smile on Ben’s lips. He still wasn’t ready to leave Finn, Poe and Rose, but this promise was at least making it easier to process. He would miss London and this calm life- he would even miss Rose’s infusions, as hard as it was to admit it. Just as hard as it was to admit how easily he could see himself staying here.

“We should sleep,” he said finally. “Big day tomorrow.”

“Yeah. Moving day.”

A nervous chuckle left them both, mingling their voices into a sound that pricked him right in the chest. God, it sounded good- _they_ sounded good. He deepened his laugh a few more seconds to hear it a little more, saving it somewhere in his mind. “Good night.”

A long yawn echoed as a response, followed with a ‘good night’ as he felt his eyes closing under the fatigue pulling him back on the bed. “See you on the other side.”

\- - -

Waking up felt as tedious as every other morning: the sun piercing through the light curtains hit Ben right in the eyes, making him groan and turn only to bump his face into the nearest wall. The pain spread through his head as he raised a hand to massage his nose, groaning a little more with frustration. _What a way to come back._ The pain disappeared after a moment, but his hand remained on his face, feeling around his features. His face was still soft, his forehead covered with hair glued to his skin, his nose- his fingers stopped at the bridge of it.

This wasn’t his nose.

His brain woke up faster than ever, following his body closely as he sat up between the blankets. His bed wasn’t placed next to a wall, and his curtains were thick enough to not let any shred of light wake him up before his alarm. With a fast-beating heart, Ben ran a hand through his hair –longer than it should be- and groped around him in search of Rey’s phone. He’d probably woken up early- according to Rose, the full moon was supposed to last until two A.M. His chest tightened as he turned the screen to his face, anticipating the time it would display.

Seven.

A dizzying sense of guilt began to seize Ben as he searched for full moon times and days online. This had to be his fault- Rose had talked about intentions and wishes, and he hadn’t truly wished for a swap back for a single moment. This was going to break Rey’s heart, and his along with it.

Trembling, Ben grabbed the phone and burst out of the room, heading to Rose’s as he frantically composed his own number on the tiny keyboard. His other hand knocked on the door continuously until a disheveled Rose opened, her sleepy eyes widening at the sight of him. “Rey?”

“Ben,” he replied with a shake of his head. “I’m still here, it didn’t-”

“Ben?”

Something tightened in his chest as the sound of Rey’s voice- or rather _his_ voice- and how sleepy she seemed. He’d probably woken her up, and with some bad news at that. “Rey, I- I’m still here.”

He must’ve said it louder than he ought to- because next thing he knew, Rose was grabbing him by the arm and pulling him into her room where she locked the door, and took Rey’s phone from his hand to put her on speaker.

“Rey, it’s Rose- I’m here. It’s gonna be ok.”

It took them a few minutes to get Rey to a stage of descent awakening, and a few more to reassure her. While she didn’t seem too terrified by Rose’s theories, Ben knew how, in addition to the panic and frustration she must be feeling, some sort of guilt was also seizing her. As much as she wanted to come back, her friend didn’t know about her first wish- and as much as Ben wanted to help, he’d promised not to tell anything. So he remained silent as Rose kept talking, sometimes to them and others to herself, her heavy notebook on her lap.

“Alright, plan B.” The sun was just starting to rise at her window, creating a halo around her figure as she stood up to face Ben. “I stand by my full moon theory, so I’m afraid we’re going to need to wait another month,” she explained with a wince at the phone. “But I want you to be together for that.”

The question left them both as one voice. “Together?”

“Together,” Rose confirmed with a nod. “I’ll give you some herbs and crystals to focus all energies around you two, but a physical proximity would probably help.”

A few other details followed her explanation, most about the type of crystals she intended to give them, but none of them got to Ben’s ears. His brain was focused on that one word- _together_\- and everything it meant.


	5. Memory Lane

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So. Haha. Hi I'm back! Hope everyone is okay ♥

_ _

_Two weeks to go_; the realization was both a relief and a heartbreak. Two more weeks before Ben had to say goodbye to all of this, this time for good. Two more weeks of friendship, movie nights and days spent at the garage before he had to get back to his life. Two more weeks of this pleasant life; but also only two weeks before he and Rey could finally be face to face.

Only two weeks left, and he hadn’t bought his plane tickets yet- which Rose made a point to remind him any time she got a chance. They’d all agreed that having Ben join Rey in America was the easiest option: Poe would easily let her take some days off since she hadn’t in two years- something Ben had scolded her about- and Ben didn’t have any roommates back in Brooklyn, which solved the six-foot-tall-stranger problem they would’ve had with the other scenario.

“I will,” he promised when she reminded him once more as his coffee barely finished brewing.

“You said that already.”

“I know but-”

“_Ben_.”

The scolding tone of her voice pushed him to finally turn and face her. She was still in her purple robes, a messy bun dangling on top of her head every time she shook it disapprovingly. The sight shouldn’t have been frightening, but Ben had learned to dread Rose’s anger: if there was someone to fear in this house, it certainly was her. Still, he couldn’t help smiling as she smacked his arm with the back of her hand. This was just another one of the multiple habits they’d developed in the past weeks and that made all of it feel more and more like home. But the more he felt at home, the more his heart ached at the perspective of how close the end of it all was. Because as much as he tried not to notice it, Ben could feel how alive the last weeks had made him feel.

Rey’s life had everything his lacked: the friends he’d never bothered to make, the calmness he craved and a sense of belonging. With every grease stain on his hands, memories of afternoons spent with his father made their way back to his mind. They didn’t hurt as much as they used to; what did hurt, though, was the countdown hanging above his head every day when he woke up, and the guilt that usually came with it. This was _Rey_’s life- a life she missed and deserved more than he did. And somehow, his selfishness had cost her one more month stuck in _his_ life.

She hadn’t said it, of course- Rey was way too kind for that- but he could feel the loneliness in her words every night as they wished each other good night. She hadn’t been complaining as much as usual either, which had first given him the illusory hope that she’d found positive things about her days; but he could feel her closing herself a little more every day, avoiding his questions and turning his attention elsewhere.

Truth be told, her methods were efficient: in just fourteen days, he’d become comfortable enough to guide her through their ‘discovery sessions’ as she called it, which occurred a little more than necessary for just discovery purposes. If there ever were moments that made him wish they’d switched back already, it was these. They’d talked about seeing each other again, mostly after; and every time, his mind wandered to the endless possibilities this could go. How easy it would be to make her chest heave, how comfortable he would be. Showers suddenly weren’t as uncomfortable as they used to be, but nothing compared to the sound of their mingled breathings coupled with whispered directions as they-

“Ben?”

“Yeah, I’ll do it.” A wince crossed his face at the painful return to reality. “I’ll do it tonight.”

“Good. Speaking of- you’ll have the apartment to yourself. We’re going out.”

“We?”

Something twinkled in Rose’s eyes, immediately followed by a barely repressed grin. She wrapped a second hand around her boiling cup of tea and took a long sip, her eyes avoiding his as she spoke again. “Finn. Poe. We’re… still figuring things out.”

_Code for an imminent threesome_. Rey’s words echoed in his mind, clear and intimidating. If the blush creeping on Rose’s cheeks was any indication, this was going exactly the way he thought it was.

“Figuring things out,” Ben repeated pensively. “Sounds promising.”

Her cheeks only reddened, causing him to break into a little smile which she returned with a shake of her head. “I swear, sometimes you sound just like her.”

Her bun dangled a little more, threatening to come undone as she took another sip of her tea. A _long_ sip, Ben noticed- her eyes remained fixed on him the entire time, suspicious and amused. Had she… noticed anything? _Heard_ anything? The thought sent a wave of embarrassment coloring his face. There had been this one moment the other day, in the shower, where Rey’s name had crossed his lips, but he was positive he hadn’t said it _that_ loud. Rose’s smile only widened at his silence, increasing the blush he could feel burning his face.

“Anyway,” she murmured into her cup, “we might come back late, so...”

“I’ll book the flight,” Ben finished, maybe a little too hastily. “That’s what I’ll do.”

The smile on Rose’s lips disappeared for a moment and she gave him a firm nod. “Sure. You do you.”

She left before he could add anything, leaving him with even more questions and a cold cup of coffee in his hands.

Poe was surprisingly more cautious than Rose, his eternal smile and absent singing betraying him more than his words. ‘_Just a dinner_,’ he’d told Ben; ‘_maybe a movie, later_.’ His good mood carried through the day, going as far as driving Ben home and picking Finn and Rose an hour earlier than planned. None of them seemed to mind, though, and Ben couldn’t help the nervous giggle that left him as he watched them all disappear inside the car with eager smiles on their faces. As soon as the car disappeared from his sight, Ben grabbed his phone and texted Rey.

**Ben | ** _Imminent threesome is happening._

The text joined the one from the very morning, and the one from last night, all left unanswered. Trying not to think too much about it, he tucked the phone back into his pocket and walked around the empty apartment. This felt familiar, but not comfortable: too much space, not enough noise… many possibilities, and yet not a single option. When the silence became too much to handle, Ben grabbed the remote and flopped down on the couch, trying to focus on the cooking show that appeared on the screen.

\- - -

**Ben | ** _How’s your day going?_

**Ben | **_I’m home._ _Call me?_

A loud groan left Ben as he checked the conversation for the third time tonight –make it four- only to see the same texts, still unanswered. The cooking show had long ended, and so had the second one. Dinner had been made, eaten, and still, the boredom was still there, leaving him wondering how in hell he’d managed to survive so long by himself. Watching TV wasn’t as fun without Finn and Rose, and as much as he’d tried to explore this new body by himself, doing it without Rey’s voice on the other side wasn’t as effective.

The night had already fallen, enveloping the street in its cold darkness. Rose and Finn had left hours ago, which probably meant they wouldn’t come back anytime soon. With another sigh, Ben grabbed the remote and turned the TV off, plunging the whole apartment and himself in the same darkness peeking through the windows. A silly urge to switch on the lights immediately seized him: a dark apartment felt way too empty, way too lonely. Light didn’t help, though; the room still felt way too large for him alone, filling him with unpleasant thoughts. Loneliness would soon have to become a habit again, and so would Rey’s absence.

Everything became a blur; and before he knew it, Ben was sitting in the middle of Rey’s room, cross-legged.

_Museums. Architecture. Snow. _Listing the things he liked about Brooklyn had somehow become harder than before, but he kept trying. _Coffee shops_. His fist clenched around the hem of the sweater he’d thrown on. He knew he’d liked it, once; he wouldn’t have moved there, otherwise. He’d liked it enough to leave everything behind and start new, and yet nothing about it felt alluring anymore. He didn’t miss the sound of traffic in the morning, didn’t miss his neighborhood or his apartment. What he did miss, though, was the comfort of it. Nothing felt familiar anymore, except Rey.

A lump formed in his throat at the thought. _Rey_, who he hadn’t even met. _Rey_, who hadn’t bothered answering him all day. _Rey_, who would soon forget about him. Who maybe already had. Trembling, Ben checked their conversation again, then dropped the phone back on the floor. Lucky as he was, the device rolled a few more inches and disappeared under the bed with a loud thud.

“Shit-”

Old habits died hard, and it took Ben a few seconds to remember that slipping an arm under a bed now was an option that didn’t involve getting ridiculously stuck. Thankful for that, he rolled on his side and extended his arm under, blindly navigating through what seemed to be a quite loaded hiding place. His hand closed around the phone seconds later, but he didn’t retreat back. He turned the flash on instead and took a glimpse at the many boxes stored under there.

The first thing that caught his attention was a pink one, with a rather explicit picture of a sex toy on its side. For the second time that day, he felt his cheeks turn a deep shade of red. This was definitely to ask Rey about next time they talked. Various other boxes surrounded it, most of them containing what looked like broken devices and books. They all looked pretty damaged, except one made of wood and visibly cleaner than the others.

_Don’t go through the box under my bed,_ Rey’s voice echoed in the back of his mind as he dragged the box to him. She’d been very clear on that rule, but less clear about _which_ box. She could’ve meant the sex toy one, or any other one for all he knew. And it wasn’t like she was answering any of his texts- getting a detailed answer from her wasn’t exactly possible right now. There was always the option of waiting, but something in him kept shutting the logical side of his brain. This had been a long, solitary evening, and a distraction was more than welcome. He wasn’t _really_ transgressing any of the rules- at least that’s what he told himself as his fingers fidgeted with the handle and opened the box.

A sweet scent immediately grazed him, something like dust and amber with a hint of vanilla. Warm, familiar and welcoming enough for him to squint down at the contents of the box with increased curiosity.

The first thing he noticed was a stuffed animal, barely damaged despite its obvious old age. It looked somewhere between a bear and a rabbit, long ears and an embroidered crooked smile that looked inexplicably more worn away than the rest of it. Carefully, Ben brushed its fur with the back of his fingers, reveling in its softness. His knuckles kept grazing it absently as his eyes swept over the other items scattered over. Papers, mostly, along with some postcards and a notebook. A few pictures fell from its cover when he grabbed it, drawing his attention. None of them displayed smiles or faces: only rooms and houses, all different from each other. The stuffed bear-rabbit sometimes appeared, usually sitting on the steps leading to the house when there were any, its eternal smile bringing a sense of warmth to the lifeless pictures.

With a growing lump in his throat, Ben set them aside and opened the notebook to the first page, where the name ‘_Rey Johnson_’ had been written in hesitant cursive script. The lumpy R should’ve made him cringe, but he surprised himself with an amused smile as he turned the page, his heart beating a tad faster at the scribblings he saw next.

_birthday: May 4th_

_house: foster care house of Jakku for children_

_best friend: Beebee_

A drawing of the stuffed animal currently staring at him accompanied the information, his long ears colored in blue, but Ben barely lingered on it; with a knot forming itself around his stomach, he turned the page and kept reading.

_I like miss Stacy because she braids my hair and she likes beebee. She always buys me ice cream when we take the car and she always comes back. My new family is nice but I miss my friends and the park._

A few other drawings followed, sometimes accompanied by a line or two about ‘new families’ and new ice cream flavors. The writing became more meticulous as he continued, and the drawings slowly disappeared in favor of various scribblings. She’d apparently searched the origins of her name, gathered some information about its Scottish roots and frequency only to cross it off several times. For the first time in his life, Ben’s calligraphy classes proved to be useful; carefully, he traced the lines with the tip of his index, evaluating their depth. She must’ve done it out of anger, or frustration- it was a miracle the paper hadn’t surrendered under the nib.

The next pages were just a gathering of words that didn’t necessarily make sense –cities, dates, names- sometimes couples with a paragraph or two describing a place or a scene. These could’ve been memories, dreams, or maybe both. Either way, this felt like one step too far: seized by a mix of guilt and sadness for this younger version of Rey, Ben closed the notebook and placed it back in the box, among the papers he’d ignored earlier. At second glance, they seemed to be cuts of newspaper, with nothing in common until he looked closer and noticed the similarities: the same name, her name, circled and highlighted. Births, deaths, weddings, she’d kept an insane amount of these, until she hadn’t anymore. According to the dates scribbled on the thin paper, she’d stopped around five years ago.

All feelings of loneliness and boredom gradually left Ben as he sat on the floor, staring at the contents of the box. With each passing second, the guilt increased, coupled with a shame he couldn’t quite explain. Suddenly, everything made sense, from her fears that her friends would leave to her motivations behind the wish she’d kept a secret.

For the first time since he’d woken up in this room, Ben felt like he truly, deeply understood Rey; and even though she’d never come across as someone in need of help or protection, the urge to hug her was stronger than ever. He remained like this for a few more seconds, maybe minutes, his hands absently holding each other before a loud vibration against his thigh dragged him back to reality with a start. The phone- he’d forgotten the phone. With his heart beating fast, Ben risked a glance at the screen and felt his chest tighten as Rey’s name appeared. The lump in his throat was still very much present when he picked up and threw the device against his ear.

“Hey, sorry, I was on the phone with- everything ok? I just saw your texts.”

His heartbeats doubled in speed at her words. She sounded genuinely sorry, and so sincerely worried, it took him every last bit of strength not to cringe as he spoke again. “Yeah, I’m ok. Sorry.”

“Texts,” she repeated with a suspicious tone. “_Plural_.”

A silent prayer left him as he threw the notebook back in the box. The guilt was only growing, pushing him to kick the box under the bed where neither of them could see it.

“I’m ok,” he repeated, “just got bored.” Then, realizing how out of breath he was: “You didn’t reply all day. Work issues?”

“Ah… not really. Your mother called.”

Something washed over him. Something brief, cold and unexpected. “My mother?”

“Yes. Sorry, I know you said not to pick up, but she’s been calling for days. I was afraid something had happened and…”

The rest of her words became a blur- something about lunch, someone missing him and an incoherent series of details that got lost in the back of his frozen brain. “Rey…”

“She sounds very nice.”

A scoff left him before he could stop it. Of course his mother was nice; she couldn’t allow herself not to be. “Yes, she is. She’s really nice.”

The words left a bitter taste on his tongue; something he immediately regretted as Rey spoke again, obvious unease in her tone. “Why is that such a big problem?”

Something chattered outside- a trashcan knocked over by the wind, again. Ben jumped at the sound of it, biting his lips with surprise. The iron taste of blood grazed his tongue and a sharp pain seized him, only adding to his growing frustration.

“Rey, it’s not _you_ she wants to talk to. She wants to talk to _me_, _to_ _her_ _son_, and you don’t want to hear what she’ll have to say.”

A brief silence followed his word before she replied, this time more firmly. “Maybe I do.”

“Rey-” The pain grew stronger with each movement of his lips, drawing a strangled groan out of him. “She can’t give you what you want.”

“Oh, and how exactly do you know what I want?”

There it was again: the sharp, biting accent that resurfaced whenever something annoyed her. It should’ve been enough to stop him, warn him, but the words crossed his lips anyway, fast and heavy.

“You-” a frustrated sigh left him. “She’s not your mother. This is _my_ life, you can’t just- just- just _fuck everything up_ for me to come back to a mess-”

“A _mess_?” Her voice –_his _voice- broke a little. “You think your life is so good? You think I like going to your shitty office every day and being nice to these assholes you work with? I don’t enjoy a single minute of this, and I don’t think you do either!”

She was right- God, he hated how right she was. Right enough to keep him silent as she continued, her tone going a little higher with each word.

“I did this for you, I’m fixing your fucked up life, Ben I-don’t-need-anyone Solo. Because guess what, you have it all. You have it all and you’re ruining everything because you’re an entitled spoiled idiot who can’t even face the mess _he_ was living in the first place.”

“My life isn’t-”

“You made a fucking wish, Ben!”

“A wish you made, too!”

The wound her words had made barely had time to heal as her accusations echoed in his mind, again and again. She was right, he knew she was right, but the reasonable voice in him was getting shut down by irrational thoughts spiraling at an insane speed. The rules, her anger, this whole situation- nothing was making sense anymore, and so Ben did what he knew best: push her away before she could him.

“Just because your parents left doesn’t mean you can use mine as substitutes!”

All remaining anger left him in the blink of an eye. Guilt rushed back within seconds, seizing him with strength like none before as he slowly realized what he’d just said. His eyes widened, the weight of his words sinking in slowly, then all at once. What had appeared like a clever idea now seemed incredibly stupid, because _of course_ he didn’t want to hurt her, let alone in hope of pushing her away. But the words had already crossed his lips, leaving him breathless and terrified of their consequences.

“Did you… did you look inside my box?”

Her voice was back to a murmur, but it lacked its usual softness. Something about it felt threatening, and yet distractingly familiar. It took Ben a good minute to realize why: she wasn’t sounding like herself- she sounded like _him_.

“I’m sorry,” he murmured hastily. “Rey I’m sor-”

She hung up abruptly, leaving the word to die on his lips.

\- - -

**Ben |** _I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that, and I have no excuse besides bad ones._

**Ben |** _Rey?_

\- - -

**Ben |** _I know you’re mad but please just tell me you’re ok._

**Ben |** _Or tell me to go to hell._

**Ben |** _Just say something. Anything. Please._

\- - -

**Ben |** _Hope you had a nice day. I’m sorry._ _Goodnight._

\- - -

“What the _hell_, Ben?”

A small hand smacked him in the back, achieving to wake him up for good. “Good morning,” he replied, his groan barely menacing in Rey’s voice.

Another smack followed, then Rose pulled the chair facing his and sat down, her palms firmly planted on the table. She looked furious. She _sounded_ furious. “When were you going to tell me?”

A brief shrug shook his shoulders. He hadn’t really thought about it. Hadn’t really thought about anything, really; the last days had been a succession of actions he’d only been a witness of, going on auto-pilot for most parts of his days. His ruminations were like a bloat on the landscape of Rose, Finn and Poe’s shared frivolity, earning him a few playful remarks here and then. Of course, Rose had been the most concerned of them all; but if the frown creasing her brow was any indication, she’d just had the answer to all her questions.

“Ben, I’m serious.”

“I know.”

“You should apologize and talk to her.”

His eyes left the cup of coffee framed by his hands to land on Rose’s. “What do you think I’ve tried to do all week?”

A silence fell between them when Finn walked into the room, looking for his phone. Rose’s smile left her lips as soon as they heard the bathroom lock click behind him, followed by his usual playlist blasting through the corridor.

“Well, do it again,” she said, her voice a little softer. “She misses you.”

“She doesn’t.”

“Yes she does, dummy! God, you two are so frustrating.”

The word was accurate: _frustrating_. Being so close to Rey’s life and yet so far from her had been one of the most frustrating experiences in Ben’s life, along with the little symbol letting him know she’d read his messages. Every new notification was a cruel tease reminding him of their last conversation, pushing him a little further down the hole of shame he’d buried himself in.

“I really fucked up, huh?”

A knowing humming left Rose’s throat, coupled with a nod. “You’re lucky she’s forgiving.”

“Not that much.”

His scoff thankfully got muffled by his cup as he took a long sip of his still burning coffee. As helpful as she’d been so far, Rose’s optimism wasn’t exactly what he needed right now, let alone her scolding. He’d had all week to blame himself, and just as much time to start adjusting to the idea of a life without Rey. Once again, Rose’s hand came to smack him gently, dragging him out of his thoughts.

“Talk to her,” she repeated impatiently.

“I just told you I-”

“Will you check your damn phone already?”

Another silent fell, shorter this time as Ben processed her words. The hint of a smirk bloomed on Rose’s lips when he almost jumped from his chair to run to Rey’s room. Rey’s phone was still on the bed, locked and flooded with a good dozen missed calls. His hand closed around the device in a second, his eyes wide as he kept staring at the name written over and over next to the green symbols.

“She-” A nervous smile crossed his mouth, widening as he caught sight of Rose’s. “I need to… I should call her back, right?”

“You should,” she approved from her seat back in the kitchen. “Make sure you thank me later!”

Another smile crossed Ben’s lips as he quickly closed the door behind him then flopped down on the floor, his heart beating faster than it had in days. His fingers were already dancing along the screen, trembling and looking for Rey’s contact when her picture appeared on the screen along with her name and the green phone symbol, which he hit without a single moment of hesitation. Still trembling, he threw the device against his ear and let out a heavy sigh as Rey spoke for the first time in days, an obvious nervousness in her words.

“I’m still mad at you.”

She remained silent for a few seconds, the sound of her breathing the only indication that she hadn’t hung up yet, then- “And I miss you.”

Another sigh left Ben, this time of relief. “I miss you too,” he replied with disbelief.

His heavy breathing joined hers, finding her rhythm until they both fell into a more steady one. Suddenly, it was like a week’s worth of worries was rushing back at him, like he’d finally woken up from a nightmare that’d left him numb. Rey’s anger, his mistake, the dread of a return to a life he’d wished so hard to escape- it all imploded in his chest, painting his mind with the truths he’d ignored as a sense of relief washed over him just as strongly.

“You were right,” he murmured into the phone. “I’m a mess, my life is a mess and you’re the one who had to suffer from it, and I’m so, so sorry-”

“Ben, no.”

A new silence fell between them; and though it was a short one, Ben felt his chest tighten. Maybe he’d just made it worse by speaking; maybe he shouldn’t speak anymore, actually. This felt like the safest option, and probably the best choice he’d made lately. Still silent, he tightened his grip on the device and waited for her to speak, way too scared to make another wrong move.

“I know this isn’t my place to say that, but… yes, your life _is_ a mess.” She stopped for a second, took a deep breath and continued. “Not because of you, though- you’ve been stuck in a bad place, and I… it was just so frustrating. I wanted to help, I just wanted to help you fix what you were too afraid to look at, and I shouldn’t have.”

Once again, silence fell between them, leaving Ben even more confused. As far as he was concerned, he was the one at fault. “No,” he replied with a vain shake of his head. “No, you were right. I should’ve done it a long time ago.”

“_You _should’ve. Not me.”

She had a point, but Ben couldn’t let her take full responsibility. “I shouldn’t have opened your box, so… I think we’re even.”

A small huff echoed through the device; one of those that made him wish she would make him smile again once they swapped back. For now, the smile she gave him was on her own lips, where he could feel it. Little by little, all tension left him until she cleared her throat and spoke again.

“Speaking of, I… I quit your job.”

For a few seconds, the earth stopped spinning. Time stopped, space froze and only his heart kept going, faster than ever. Reasons told him he should scream, be flooded with anger, but none of this happened. Relief only kept spreading through his chest instead, widening his smile in the most unexpected way. “Oh. Ok.”

“_Ok_? You’re not mad at me?”

“No. No, I....” A giggled left him. A strangled, incredulous giggle. “I ordered my ticket. Before we…”

This wasn’t exactly what he’d planned to say, but everything was happening so fast, he couldn’t trust his mouth or mind anymore. The confusion, the relief, the fear; it’d all mingled in such an overwhelming mess of emotions, he’d blurted out the first positive thing he could think about.

If the scoff echoing on the other side of the line was any indication, Rey seemed to at least find it amusing. “Ticket? Singular?”

“I figured you’d decide when you want to come back.” A new idea suddenly materialized in his mind, terrifying. “I mean- if you still think we should meet.

Another scoff. She _was_ amused. “Ben, of course I do.”

“Good. Great.”

Her chuckle echoed between them, filling the room with joy as Ben filled his lungs with as much air as he could. He’d spent the last six years of his life in a constant state of fear, but this was something else. For the first time in a very long time, what he’d been dreading hadn’t been a person, but an idea. The idea of losing Rey, and everything she meant to him, whatever it was. He’d spent a whole week barely eating, dreading the moment she would come back to kick him out for her to… apologize. Forgive. And chuckle.

“Do you want me to pick you up at the airport?”

Her question dragged Ben back to reality and achieved to brand his smile on his lips for life. “I’ll find my way.”

“Ok. Great.”

Another chuckle echoed, this time from him. Rose had been right: Rey definitely was forgiving. The conversation got more natural with each passing second until they finally reached their usual level of comfort. Rey told him about the scene she’d made in front of his entire office, making a point to report Snoke’s disbelief when she’d thrown his access badge on the floor and stormed out of the building in what sounded like a dramatic enough behavior to sound like him. She told him about his mother, their timid conversation and how she’d called her the day after, claiming she needed more time and to take things slow; and even though Ben knew a family reunion was now necessary, he found himself grateful for the little time Rey had bought him. Yet, buried under all of this, a spark of hope had awakened, along with the memory of his mother’s sweet perfume and how warm her embrace was.

When he told her about her friends’ much-anticipated date, though, her reaction was immediate.

“I can’t believe I missed that!”

“It’s a nightmare,” Ben confessed, his eyes shutting instinctively. “They’re… very vocal.”

The remark elicited a laugh from her, so bright and genuine Ben surprised himself with how loud his heart began to drum. The pace only accelerated as he tried to imagine her laughing like this in a week, in her real voice, facing him. Looking at him. Touching him, maybe.

Her laughter continued all morning, and so did the drumming as they kept talking and talking, ignoring how late Ben already was. Rose tried to warn him as she left, a finger pointed at her watch, but he didn’t care. All that counted was Rey, her laugh and the plans she was starting to make for them. And for the first time, Ben found that he truly, genuinely couldn’t wait to get back to Brooklyn.


	6. Together

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One last chapter and we're there... ♥️

The engines of the plane woke Ben up as they roared in his ears, followed with the same tune he’d heard for the last eight hours. A symbol lit up above him, beckoning him to fasten his belt as the muffled voice of the captain informed them of the local time and temperature.

It took him a minute to remember where he was, and where he was headed. The last time he’d stayed in a plane for such a long time was twenty-three years ago, for a family trip in Italy. He’d been too young to remember more than the ice creams and hordes of pigeons, and the long movie marathon he’d made out of the long hours sitting in the plane. He was all crooked and sore, now, and not a single movie had been entertaining enough to keep his mind off the thoughts he’d been spiraling into, most of them about Rey.

They’d talked about it the day before and texted before he boarded -even though he’d told her not to wake up for him- but with every mile, Ben could feel a lump starting to form in his throat. Soon enough, he would finally face Rey; and soon enough, they would both be back to their respective bodies and to being themselves. His hand instinctively went to the pocket of his jacket at this thought, brushing the multiple stones and dried herbs Rose had insisted that he take with him. He’d never been one to believe in the power of plants and rocks, let alone the moon, but after the last two months… well, he couldn’t exactly remain skeptical. Besides, the big transparent stone had been a great stress reliever for the past eight hours.

“_ Ladies and gentlemen, we have just been cleared to land at the JFK airport. Please make sure your seat belt is securely fastened and stay seated until we land _.”

A foreign feeling seized Ben as the plane began its descent, following him as he dragged Rey’s old suitcase through customs and security. There was still a good half an hour separating him from his neighborhood, and probably just as much before he could grab a cab once he found the way out of this giant labyrinth, but the very thought of _ her _ was becoming louder with each step he took. The trip had tired him, but knowing she’d never been so close to him was enough to keep him walking. There was an odd joy is walking the long corridors of an airport- there were some of the few places where time didn’t seem to pass, so much that Ben felt his heart drop as he checked the time on Rey’s phone: nine a.m. She was probably still sleeping: she hadn’t called nor texted and didn’t have any job to go to anymore. Maybe he’d find her in his bed when he arrived, or maybe she’d wait for him by the TV. A small smile crossed his lips as he passed a bakery, and Ben stopped to get some pastries. He had absolutely no idea what Rey would like, forgot all about her tastes and ended up getting one of each, leaving the shopping area with a bag full of a dozen pastries and a bottle of orange juice under his arm as he followed the exit signs. Bringing breakfast would be a good way to break the ice, or any potential awkwardness between them; food was the way to Rey’s, heart, and he definitely-

His heart dropped to his knees when he reached the arrival gate, followed by the orange juice, which met the floor in a thud.

She was here- well, _ he _ was; or rather, _ they _ were. Hearing his own voice tinted with her British accent was one thing, but looking at his own face displaying a bright smile he’d never seen on himself was something else. It was unsettling and slightly uncomfortable at first, but all these feelings vanished as he processed the fact that this was _ Rey _ inside, here and waiting for him with anticipation in her gaze that immediately changed to pure relief when their eyes met.

She waved at him timidly, and his heart missed another beat.

She was here. For real.

The few steps separating them were the longest Ben had ever taken. His heart kept beating faster, his mind blanking as he got closer and closer, wondering what he was supposed to do and _ could she tell how nervous he was? Was she nervous, too? _ Judging by the blush painting her cheeks- well, his- she was. One more step, then another, and he found himself squeezed by his own arms in a strong embrace that washed all his doubts away. These weren’t the arms he’d stared at for longer than he’d like to admit, sometimes wondering how they would feel around him. 

He’d caught himself wondering about their size difference, but hadn’t pictured it with him being crushed by giant arms wrapping around his waist with disconcerting ease- but this was only a detail for now. This wasn’t a matter of bodies or looks: because right now, this was _ Rey _ holding him, and giggling in his shoulder as he held her back in response, slightly trembling with emotion. They were only two people holding on each other like they couldn’t let go, chuckling silently at the awkwardness of it all and the sheer relief of finally being to do such a simple thing. 

For weeks, he’d wondered if she was even real, and had doubted it more times than he wished to admit; a detail as small as a body swap wasn’t going to take any of his joy away. Besides, if everything went according to the plan, they’d be able to hold each other properly in just a few hours. 

“I told you not to come,” Ben murmured after a moment.

“I know. I couldn’t wait.”

Neither of them moved for a few seconds, both tightening their grip on each other as various emotions kept washing over them. It was way too early for tears, yet Ben felt like he could easily cry if he kept holding her for too long. She’d felt real through the phone, even more after she’d established their long-distance hand-holding trick, but actually being able to hold her made all of it feel real for good. There was something about holding his own body, too- something that after two months of long questionings and self-exploration felt like an apology to himself. He’d been thinking about it a lot on for the past hours, and had come to the conclusion that whatever happened, he wasn’t only taking his body back: he was going to take his life back, too.

“Just to be clear,” she mumbled through the hug, “are you hugging your body or me?”

“Both.” His answer drew a chuckle out of her, making him smile even more as he realized he would soon hear it from her real voice. “But mostly you.”

She squeezed him a little more in response before they both pulled away, all smiles and giggles as they headed towards the exit. Their hands brushed while they waited for a cab, and found each other as they sat on the backseat. By the time they got to his apartment, their fingers had intertwined, leaving Ben pouting when she let go of him to grab his keys and open the lock of the apartment he’d left two months ago.

“Welcome home,” Rey murmured as she pushed the door open.

The hinges squeaked as the interior of his apartment appeared before his eyes, barely changed and yet so unfamiliar. There were a few traces of Rey here and there, tiny details such as plants placed on his table and window and a few things scattered around. One big change, though, was the giant _ Welcome Home, Buddy! _ sign she’d hung across the living room and modified with a sharpie and some tape to turn it into _ Welcome Home, Body! _

“You’ve redecorated,” he observed with a tiny smile.

Her hand found his as she returned the smile, and Ben found himself staring at his own face again, searching for Rey in his own eyes. These were all his traits, but none of these expressions were his. Every smile, every nose scrunch was hers, making him a little more nervous about tonight and impatient to truly see her. Slightly tightening his grip on her, Ben took a deep breath and glanced at the kitchen, where a few more plants had been added. The whole place felt more welcoming, more personal; another reminder of how much Rey had changed his life in her time here. If this was how the place looked when she was around, he wasn’t sure he wanted her to ever leave.

“You should get some sleep,” she said softly. “I made your bed and put my things away.”

His eyes landed on a pile of books carefully put away on his coffee table. “I don’t want to sleep.”

“You’ve had a long trip, you need to rest before tonight-”

“I’d rather stay with you.”

His words caused silence to fall between them as their eyes met again. She gave him a smile, surprised and shy- and despite how weird talking to his own body was, Ben felt his heart warm at the reminder that this was Rey smiling at him, Rey taking his hand back in hers and Rey watching him with _ this look _ again as she bit her lips and spoke. “You want to watch a movie?”

He didn’t say a thing, nodding and letting her guide him to his own couch. They sat side by side, close but not touching save for the hand Rey hadn’t let go of. She scrolled through his Netflix list, blatantly ignoring the number of romcoms she’d added lately and stopped after a moment, eyeing him with raised eyebrows. Her choice brought a smile to Ben’s lips as he approved with an amused nod, sighing sarcastically as the movie opened on Robin Williams singing an opera piece while ‘_ Mrs. Doubtfire’ _ appeared at the bottom of the screen.

They’d only made it to the first half of the movie when Rey stretched out and let herself flop on her side, her head landing unceremoniously on his lap. Her hand squeezed his briefly, like she was checking on him, and Ben felt his heart warm up at the memory of his hands squeezing each other with her instructions, longing for the day they would be able to do this for real. He was still longing- for her real hand to get wrapped in his- but this was close enough to it for him to light up and squeeze her hand back. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d received any kind of physical affection, but Rey- she made it feel all so easy, so natural that Ben found himself stroking her hair- his hair- lazily as the movie kept playing before them. The last person who had touched his hair like this was his mother, long ago, which made him realize how lovingly he’d been running his finger through the dark waves. It’d taken an entirely new person to live in his body for him to start giving it the attention and love it deserved. His movements slowed down when Rey squeezed his hand again.

“Ben?”

“Mmh?”

“We never talked about my box.”

His movements stopped and he nodded carefully, his heart beating faster with anticipation. “We didn’t.”

“Can we?”

Ben hadn’t expected the topic to be brought back. Truth be told, he’d expected it to be avoided and forgotten, not talked about until much later when this was all behind them. There was a part of him, tiny but vocal that dreaded another argument, but got silenced quickly by the other part, the rational one who’d noticed the calm tone Rey had used. Still careful, he untangled his fingers from the hair he’d been brushing and frowned. “You don’t have to tell me anything if you don’t…”

“I do. I want you to know.” A pain traveled through his legs as she shifted on his lap, brief but sharp. Ben made a mental note not to overestimate the impact of his weight on her body for when they swapped back –maybe a stretch- as she turned around to face him and sat up, never once breaking eye contact. “I want you to know me, all of me- even the ugly me.”

“I don’t think you could ever be ugly.”

A soft smile curled her lips as she tilted her head, reaching for his cheek hesitantly. “Well, you do make me seem hotter than I am with that accent of yours.”

“You’re one to talk.”

A flash of mischief lit up her eyes, then vanished just as quickly. Her hand pulled back carefully, landing on the couch between them as she shifted in her spot to sit more comfortably, a brief sigh crossing her -_ not quite hers _\- lips. “What did you see, exactly?”

Flashes of memories played in Ben’s mind, bringing him back to the frustration he’d felt that night while going through the relics of her past. He remembered the way his stomach had tightened at the words of her younger self and how his heart had broken with each unfinished investigation she’d written down. A wave of guilt washed over him just like it had after how hurt she’d been at his betrayal, but he quickly put it aside. This wasn’t what this was about and this wasn’t what she needed to hear, so Ben took a breath and replied as factually as he could.

“The notebook. A few press cuttings.” He stopped then hesitated before continuing. “Beebee.”

A silent chuckle shook Rey, coupled with a faint smile. “Poor brave Beebee,” she murmured. “I should get him out of that box.”

“He did look a bit lonely down there.”

His serious tone drew another chuckle out of her, sending waves of pride through him as she bit her lips. She went silent for a few seconds then took his hand in hers again, giving it a small squeeze as she cleared her throat.

“I kept looking for them after I turned eighteen,” she said after a moment. “I had this idea of this whole situation being a case of misunderstandings and bad luck, that maybe I had someone waiting for me somewhere. That maybe I’d find an old relative who’d be thrilled to discover they had a sister, granddaughter, or a niece.” She paused, letting out a bitter chuckle. “Turns out they were not.”

“You found someone?”

She nodded, still not meeting his eyes. “My mother’s cousin. She barely remembered her, only knew she’d died years ago with my father- alcoholism. I didn’t even ask for their names.”

Something like a cold breeze grazed Ben at her words, leaving him silent and frowning. After the longing he’d witnessed in her notebook, the pain he’d found in that box, this resolution was just… empty. _ Unfair _. It filled him with anger towards these strangers, and towards whatever force had thrown Rey through so much at such an early age. An anger he was, sadly, familiar with.

“I was technically raised by both my parents. They loved each other and loved me, and I still felt abandoned.”

His eyes met Rey’s again, and found her staring at him through wet eyelashes. She made him look so young, he could almost feel the absence of his parents as if it were fresh. A single tear dropped from her eyes to land on their tangled hands and she sniffed, rubbing her nose with her sleeve. “I’m not sure I follow.”

“There wasn’t anything wrong with you,” Ben continued. “You were just born from people who didn’t know how to be parents.”

“Is that what happened with yours?”

He paused for a second, and then nodded. “I think they loved me but didn’t know how to show it.”

Another silence settled as he dwelled on his own words. It’d been easy to hide behind anger and distorted accusations, but the truth was always so much more simple and frustrating: for every good intention they’d had, his parents always had bad timing and very poor management over their own demons. For every argument, his father would take him for a ride; and for every tantrum, his mother would drop him off to his uncle who, even though the diploma on his walls claimed him to be a therapist, never fixed a single thing. They’d always tried; just never knew they needed to begin with themselves.

“I used to think I _ wanted _ to be alone, you know,” Rey continued in a murmur. “No friends, no partner, no family- it just felt easier this way. I always said I was afraid to trust someone, but… I think I’m afraid to fuck up like they did.”

“You never know until you try.”

Her fingers tightened around his for a brief moment before they loosened their grip and trailed up his arm. The space between them diminished as Rey shifted closer, tilting her head and stopping a few inches away, leaving Ben with a fast-beating heart and an empty brain as he watched Rey’s gaze linger on his lips- or rather, hers.

“I want to kiss you.”

He felt her words graze his lips in a whisper, followed by her steady breathings as she shifted a little closer. She was just an inch away, eyes closing when Ben found it in himself to react and pulled away, his back hitting the arm of the couch in the process and drawing a muffled groan out of him. Rey backed away immediately, leaving a mark on his lips as she bit it, eyes wide and alarmed.

“Sorry, I thought…”

“No- I want it too,” Ben hastened to explain, “but not like that. I want to kiss the real you.”

Rey’s breathing slowed as they both stared at one another with incredulous smiles spreading on their lips. “Makes sense”, she murmured.

She crawled back to him with a nod and let her head fall on his shoulder, heavy and quite too big for him- something else to remember for when they switched back. They stayed like this for a moment, their fingers finding each other again as they watched the end of the movie in a religious silence, his thumb stroking her palm from time to time as he lingered on her words. He’d thought about kissing her, holding her and whispering so many promises in her ear. She made him look so brave and vulnerable at the same time, he wondered if getting used to his own face and appreciating it was part of the process- because with each passing minute, each heartbeat pulsing by the tip of his fingers as he caressed hers, his heart beat a little faster with the realization that he'd been falling in love with Rey so fast that he hadn't realized it until now.

A wave of shivers rolled through his spine as his smile grew wider, and it took him a moment to realize Rey’s hand had moved to his thigh, guiding his hand to the hem of the leggings he’d put on. She stopped there, eyeing him inquiringly, her smile ever so impish on her parted lips. “Show me.”

“I thought you were familiar with that.”

“I want to see _ you _ doing it.”

He barely hesitated, his hand leaving hers to slip under the leggings wrapped around him. His fingers grazed the lace of the underwear he’d chosen, then the skin he’d been exploring for the past weeks. He’d grown to know where to touch, where to press and how much pressure to apply, but took his time as he did so, watching as Rey mirrored his movement next to him.

“I wish I could be doing it to you,” he breathed as she slid out of his favorite jeans.

“Soon, maybe.”

He watched as she took his cock and gave it a few experimental strokes, breathless and beaming. He was almost tempted to touch it himself if only just to check how her hands looked around him, but the way she looked at him- she was giving his eyes something primal that sent him to the edge, compelled him to hasten his movements and focus on the sounds crossing her lips. He couldn’t wait to see her looking at him through her eyes, her _ real _ eyes- he was so tired of having to look in a mirror to imagine her expressions.

“I’ve been thinking about your fingers,” she whispered, picking up her pace, too. “How it would feel with them.”

“_ Soon, maybe _.”

She grinned at the innuendo then shut her eyes firmly, followed with a groan that he knew all too well as a spasm shook the hand she still had wrapped around his cock. If his body had kept its usual endurance, she wouldn’t be long to come- and neither would he. His fingers accelerated, rolling down her clit to her entrance with furious strokes as he tried to align his speed with hers.

“Your- thumb,” Rey breathed out next to him. “Use your thumb.”

It took him a second to understand what she meant; but a shuddered gasp left him once he did, trading his index for his thumb to rub at her clit, as he buried both his middle and ring fingers in her cunt. She threw her head back, her breath coming out short and unsteady as she reached her climax, her gasps and moans sending him to the edge as well as he pumped his fingers in and out, feeling the now-familiar warmth building in his abdomen. It was growing much faster than it usually did, Rey’s presence influencing his mind in a way he never would’ve suspected. She joined his side seconds later, her eyes fixed on his movements and her still warm hand grazing his arm.

“Fast learner,” she murmured in his ear.

Her breath tickled the skin behind his ear, her lips just barely hovering over it. He could hear her smile as he took a deep breath, the growing fire in his abdomen threatening to explode any second.

“Good teacher,” he managed between breaths.

She tilted her head to flash him a grin before she disappeared to his blind spot again. Her lips did touch his skin, this time, leaving a kiss on his cheek, way too chaste compared to the way his fingers kept moving just a few inches lower. She lingered there a moment, the ghost of her breath grazing his neck. “Come for me, Ben.”

Her words, her accent- she’d definitely intensified this last part, using that soft sharpness he liked so much- it all sent him to the edge, releasing the sweet pain he’d been trying to keep inside. It rolled through him in waves, short and fast and so intense- it’d never been that intense when he was alone. He could feel the pulses around his fingers, the wetness and the warmth of it all as he gritted his teeth and felt his whole body go soft as the waves vanished gradually until he was left with a heaving chest and a stupid smile on his lips.

“That was…”

“Yeah,” Rey murmured, just as breathless. “Very much.”

They both turned to each other, chuckling incredulously when they processed what had just happened. Their hands found each other again, clammy and trembling, but they couldn’t care less: their fingers tangled as they melted into each other, Rey on top of him as Ben reclined along the couch. She was still too heavy in his body, her head too strong against his chest as she fell asleep in his arms, but none of this mattered. All that mattered was that they were together, finally, and that he could feel her heart beating just as fast as his as the movie’s credits lulled them to sleep.

\- - -

They slept through the afternoon until a phone call woke them up with a start, followed by Rose’s worried voice echoing around the room when Rey picked up and put her on speaker. The apartment was plunged into total darkness save for the lights shining outside, and Ben felt his heart jump in his chest as his eyes landed on the numbers displayed on the oven: 6 P.M. The moon would soon be full enough.

_ “Holy shit Rey, that voice really is-” _

A muffled noise echoed next to him as Rey threw her hand on her phone, wide eyes staring at him and both cheeks painted with a blush. “Rose, you’re on speaker!”

_ “Oh? Oh, is Ben around? Hi Ben!” _

A chuckle passed through them as he greeted her in return, doing his best to ignore how red his face had become under Rey’s embarrassment. A series of questions followed, starting with how his flight was to how clear the sky was above them, to which Rey replied when she got up and peeked through the curtain of the closest window.

“Perfect,” she announced with pride.

They left the apartment a few minutes later, both wrapped up in heavy coats and scarves with Rose accompanying them through Rey’s phone as they walked to the nearest park. Their hands eventually found each other again when they stepped onto the lawn, fingers tangling with difficulty with the cold surrounding them.

“Why do we have to be outside, again?” Rey asked suddenly. Even with her face hidden under the scarf Ben had given her, her frown was impossible to miss. _ There, she made him look like himself _, Ben thought with a smile. She didn’t miss it either, giving him an inquiring look he was quick to dismiss with a shake of his head.

_ “The moon, dummy,” _ Rose replied with an exaggerated sigh. _ “You’re not taking any more risks, I want you to bathe in that moonlight. Ben, you brought what I gave you?” _

His hands came to his pocket, grazing the stones and herbs she’d thrown inside his jacket days before. “Yep.”

_ “Don’t let go of it, make sure you touch it. Make sure you both touch it.” _

His eyes met Rey’s briefly, both of them repressing a laugh at Rose’s wording as flashbacks of the afternoon danced between them. The memory of Rey’s eager movements and the little moans that’d crossed her lips; he couldn’t wait to hear them cross her actual lips, couldn’t wait to touch her with his own mouth and taste every inch of her once they finally-

The sound of Rey clearing her throat dragged him back to reality. They’d stopped walking and were now standing in the middle of the park, her amused look on him as Rose called his name again.

“Sorry- what?”

_ “The stones,” _ Rose sighed impatiently.

“What do I do with them?”

She let out another sigh as Rey drove her hand into his pocket with a chuckle, pulling out the set of stones and herbs, placing it in his palm and covering it with hers. A shiver ran through him as their skin met, painting smiles on both their lips. “Next?” Rey asked softly.

“I think this is the wishing part,” Ben whispered.

A hum of approval echoed from Rey’s phone, but she didn’t seem to notice. Her gaze seemed to get lost for a moment, slowly getting filled with panic until Ben slipped his free hand to her chin and tilted it back to him. “Hey. What’s wrong?”

Her eyes finally found him again, wide and uncertain. “What if it doesn’t work?”

For a brief moment, Rose seemed to vanish, falling silent to leave them the space they needed as Rey leaned into Ben’s touch. Her free hand came to his arm, wrapping around his wrist as she closed her eyes and left a mark on his lips again as she bit it nervously. What if she didn’t work: her real concern was written all over her expressions, a shadow in her gaze as she looked at him expectantly. It took Ben a few seconds to figure out the mechanics in these bodies, but he pulled her closer, beckoning her to drop her head so their foreheads could touch.

“It will,” he murmured. “It worked once, it can work twice.”

“But I don’t want to go back to what it used to be.”

Her voice was rendered to a whisper, but he could hear the panic in it just as clear as he could feel her starting to tremble against him.

“Then wish for something else,” he replied in a breath.

His lips ghosted over her skin as she leaned in closer, closing the gap between them until Rose couldn’t hear them anymore, their faces too close to each other and too far from the phone. He didn’t want it either, didn’t want her to leave with that smile of hers and go back to his apartment alone again, with way too many demons to face. She’d promised, he _ knew _ she’d promised, but the instinctive part of his mind, the one still hurting, couldn’t stop him from tightening his grip on her just a little.

“I want us to be ourselves again.”

“That’s an excellent wish.”

She chuckled through her smile, her breath tickling him in the process. Slowly, careful not to let her drop her phone, Ben let his hand slide to the one she’d buried in his coat and raised her fingers to his mouth, kissing her knuckles –his- as they held onto each other fiercely. Her other hand pressed against his, squeezing the herbs and stones between their palms as they both fell into a deep silence, accompanied by Rose’s heavy breathing. She gave them a countdown to the exact time she’d calculated, enunciating the seconds as Ben shut his eyes and frowned, gathering his attention on the only thing he wished for. He wished for it with all his strength, with every inch of his being.

He wanted to hold Rey as himself, wanted to see her smile with her own lips and hear her laugh with her own voice. He wanted to get his voice back to call his mother himself, let out the words he’d been repressing for too long and see if his face remembered how to smile and laugh when it wasn’t Rey controlling it. He wanted to feel the butterflies in his own stomach when she promised him more than he deserved, to hold her close and carry her with the ease he suspected he would have. But most of all, he wanted to get his lips back and kiss her senseless until none of them could breathe anymore.

“Ben? Everything ok?”

His palm hurt with how hard he’d been squeezing the stones, rendering the herbs to dust. Rose had mentioned rosemary and sage, but she hadn’t mentioned they would _ burn _, let alone that much.

“I… yeah…”

The burning intensified as he tried to focus back on his wish, tightening his grip on the stones- but even they were starting to hurt, and why were they so heavy? Rey said something, but her voice didn’t reach him, becoming more distant with each passing second. He tried to answer, ask, explain, but not a sound crossed his lips; and when his eyes opened, his vision was blurred and prickly. He wanted to close his eyes, oh god he wanted to, but he couldn’t- not when Rey was nowhere in sight and his fingers so numb that he couldn’t tell whether or not she was still holding him. Soon enough, his head gave way and started spinning until it met the ground, the only indication of his fall the loud thud that resonated in his ears.

_ “Sir? Sir, can you hear me?” _

It sounded like a dream at first; then like a sharp, irritating alarm pulling him away from a well-deserved slumber. Everything was heavy -damn, _ he _ was heavy- and insanely painful, and why was he so cold? His hand instinctively came to the back of his head, massaging the spot that hurt the most. _ He must’ve passed out _ , he realized as he slowly regained consciousness of his body as well as his vision. He soon realized the weird angle of his legs, and the cold grass under his back. He gathered his efforts to sit up, helped by the stranger who kept asking him if everything was ok, and _ why was he feeling so oppressed? _He must’ve been unconscious for longer than he’d thought, because the man had had time to wrap him in no less than two scarves and-

His eyes drifted to the scarves, then to his torso. The coat he was wearing was definitely not the blue trench he’d picked from Rey’s wardrobe but a deep grey wool coat he’d been sporting for years. The stranger asked him something, but he didn’t hear it: his attention was on the sensations rolling through his body. A familiar, almost forgotten pain seized him at his knee as he bent a few inches and ran a hand through his hair- shorter than what he’d dealt with for the last weeks. His fingers met his face, trailing down full eyebrows and a long nose that definitely wasn’t Rey’s. He didn’t find her cheekbones as he kept feeling around his face, his fingers tracing the curve of his lips instead- _ his _ lips, his _ Ben _ lips, a bit too full to his liking but familiar enough for him not to care at this moment.

His heartbeat hastened as he slowly understood what had happened, but his brain was quick to slow his hopes down- it could very well be a dream. The memory of Rey’s instruction from two months ago rushed back to his mind like a mantra: _ blinking, sleeping, reality check. _

Sleeping wasn’t exactly on the table right now, but he did manage to blink without an ounce of effort. His vision cleared as he did, giving him a better view of his surroundings: the park was still plunged in darkness, barely lightened by remote streetlights and the moon shining bright above them. Nothing out of the ordinary- this felt like a successful reality check, until his eyes landed on Rey, staring at him from just a few inches away.

“Sir, are you sure you-”

His heart made a loop when he saw the smile spreading on her lips, genuine and so _ Rey _ . Her eyes had never seemed so bright, so _ her _, they were like an extension of her smile, achieving to enlighten her face.

“Ben-”

She got on her knees, stumbling as she made her way to him, almost throwing herself against him in the process. The stranger took a few steps back, hesitating then leaving them alone when she reached out, cupping his jaw with her hands; her tiny, calloused hands he’d looked at more than he probably should’ve. He leaned into her touch almost instinctively, his eyes boring into hers while his heart kept drumming inside his chest with such excitement he wondered if it would be possible for it to simply escape.

“It worked.” After weeks of imagining and trying to mimic what she would sound like, Ben felt his heart miss a beat. She seemed breathless, ecstatic and unable to set her eyes on one part of his face as she kept touching him with the tip of her fingers. “Ben, it-”

The words died on her lips as she tilted her head and leaned in without an ounce of hesitation, crushing her mouth against his with an impatience that took his breath away.

He knew how soft her lips were, for how many times he’d ran his fingers over it, but kissing them was something else. She tasted like nothing he’d ever met before, and like something he couldn’t get enough of. His arm wrapped around her waist, pulling her closer until she was on his lap, straddling him and deepening the kiss in a way that had to be inappropriate for the place they were in. Rey broke the kiss after a few seconds, breathless and beaming, her thumbs grazing his lips like she couldn’t get enough of him either.

“So what happens, now?”

“Now…” Ben paused to kiss her again, slowly pulling away with a smile on his lips. “Now we get back home,” he continued, interrupting himself for another kiss. “And we don’t get out for at least a day or two.”

A soft gasp crossed Rey’s lips as she chased his lips. She stopped just a few inches away, eyes closed. “That’s a lot of time.”

“I have a lot of things in mind.”

A chuckle left her, digging dimples in her freckled cheeks, and Ben was positive he could get addicted to her laugh. Just when he wondered if kissing her again would be acceptable, she pulled at his shirt and tilted her head until her face disappeared into his neck, her lips almost grazing his ears when she spoke again. “Show me.”

\- - -

A loud thud echoed in the apartment exactly eighteen minutes later when Rey’s back met the wall, her gasp muffled by Ben’s lips crushing onto hers. His keys fell somewhere between the door and coat rack as they kept stumbling along the corridor, hands furiously grabbing at each other’s clothes.

She was electrifying, hypnotizing and _finally_ _herself_. Getting used to living in Rey’s body was one thing, but moving along with it was something else. Even though she was far from being small, Ben had to bend his neck a few inches to deepen the kiss; and though he didn’t mind continuing to explore her mouth with his, other parts of his body were begging to explore her, too. Slamming the door with a blind kick, he bent a little more to scoop her up, wrapping his arms under her thighs as her legs came around his waist with ease. She squeezed his shoulders with a yelp of surprise, pulling away just enough to look at him. Half her hair was on her face, almost covering the radiant smile she gave Ben when their eyes met again.

“What?”

“Nothing.” She shook her head with a chuckle. “Just…feels good to be looking at you.”

He stopped himself from retorting some kind of joke about how she’d had plenty of time to look at him, because he knew; oh, he knew what she meant. Because looking at her face in a mirror was nothing like looking at her like he was right now: her features were the same, but there was something in her eyes, in the tilt of her head and the curve of her mouth, something that screamed Rey and Rey only.

“Mmh. Not bad-looking yourself.”

His lips trailed down her jaw to her neck, planting kisses along the way. The effect was immediate: a wave of shivers emerged on her skin and her legs squeezed around Ben, making him groan at the friction it created against him- just enough to remind him of the growing erection tenting his pants. His fingers dug into the skin of her thighs, pulling her closer and only increasing the friction. His mouth closed around the sensitive spot he’d just found on her neck, eliciting another trail of shivers to run down Rey’s skin.

“Tease,” she breathed accusingly.

Ben chuckled, then stopped himself right on the spot when she tightened her legs around him, causing his body to be covered with shivers as well. Repressing a groan proved to be useless as he looked up, finding Rey looking at him with a grin, visibly proud of the effect she had on him. Her devious smile vanished as she dipped her head a few inches and kissed him again, this time slower and deeper.

Her hands left his shoulders to find his collar, ridding him of the two scarves she’d picked when they’d left earlier. She was taking her time, throwing them to the floor one by one before switching her attention to his coat. There, again, she remained agonizingly slow, undoing his buttons and freeing him of the heavy jacket with patience he couldn’t mirror right now. As soon as his coat joined the scarves on the floor, Ben turned them away and caged Rey between him and the wall. He was growing impatient and, well, something else was growing and she had to be feeling it- he could feel her smiling through the kiss- but she kept her steady rhythm, her fingers gently tangling in his hair as she returned his kiss with more composure. As much as he wanted it, as desperate as he was to promptly fuck her against this very wall, Rey deserved better than a few hasty thrusts. _ They _ deserved better.

Falling in with the rhythm she’d established, Ben deepened the kiss as softly as he could, secured his grip on her and slowly, carefully walked away from the corridor to the living room. They hadn’t left too many things back then, thankfully, which allowed him to cross the room blindly and settle Rey down on the couch still fresh with their activities from the afternoon. Her legs unwrapped from his waist, leaving him with a cold sensation as he broke the kiss and knelt before her, his hands still on her thighs.

“I’m glad I know what you’re wearing,” he said with a smile. His hands moved to her hips, pulling at the hem of her leggings gently until she gave him a silent approval.

“Of all the things I have, you had to pick the cotton underwear.”

A smirk painted her lips as her clothes rolled down her legs, followed by a chuckle when they got thrown across the room exaggeratedly. If she was nervous, she didn’t let it show: her expression was relaxed, full of trust and desire and she didn’t flinch even as Ben wrapped his hands around her thighs. She ran a hand through his hair instead, beckoning him to look at her; and somehow, it made it even easier for him to let his head rest on her thigh. In any other circumstances, being this intimate with someone would’ve made him overthink his every move, but not with Rey. She knew him just as much as he knew her, and any possible embarrassment had already been dealt with for the last two months.

His mouth was on her within seconds, his open-mouth kisses drawing little gasps out of her. She tasted just like he’d imagined, even better, and he wondered if the butterflies he’d felt in his abdomen for the past weeks were the same she was feeling right now. The hand in his hair grazed his scalp a little more with each passing second, then clench around his hair when he licked a stripe to her clit. Her chest heaved when his lips closed around it, and he knew he was doing it right when familiar noises left her mouth minutes later as his fingers joined his mouth to tease her.

“Ben-”

His name rolled from her tongue several times as he pumped a finger in and out of her. _ Ben, Ben, Ben _, like a song he followed the rhythm of, eager to make her fall apart. She was everywhere, her thighs framing his head as he buried his face a little deeper between her legs, walls clenching around his fingers. With each gasp, her hips rolled against his nose, and Ben gathered his efforts to pin her down the couch every time- but she was already panting by the time he surrendered, her thighs trembling around him when he pulled away to look at her.

“Everything ok?” he asked in a murmur.

Her eyes were wide and dark, her hair disheveled when she nodded. “Come here.”

A brief wave of disappointment washed over Ben at her words but quickly vanished as he joined her on the couch, claiming the very same spot he’d sat on hours ago. Still slightly trembling, Rey rolled on her side and threw a leg around his waist, letting her thighs sink on either side of his waist as she settled on his lap with a smile.

“I didn’t want it to be one-sided,” she explained, fingers brushing his hair away from his face.

It probably made sense, but all Ben knew was that she’d stopped him long before he’d been done. “I could’ve waited,” he murmured against her shoulder, planting a kiss there. His hands finally left his sides to undo the buttons of the shirt she was still wearing, reveling in the warmth emanating from her skin. The fabric slowly slid down her shoulders until only her arms were covered, revealing a plain, black bra that only highlighted the freckles scattered over her cleavage and stomach.

A small giggle crossed her lips when his fingers followed imaginary lines between her freckles, tracing goosebumps as they went. She observed him for a moment, allowing him to continue until she got rid of her shirt and wrapped her arms around his neck, crushing her nose against his as she kissed him again, softly.

“I always wondered how it’d feel being in your arms,” she whispered contently.

“I wondered how you’d feel in them.”

“I wondered how you’d feel inside me.”

“I wonder, too.”

She let out another chuckle and resumed kissing him for the following minutes, slowly rolling her hips against him. Her hands eventually moved, toying with the collar of his shirt and trailing down his chest until she found the hem of it and pulled it up. Ben was faster and picked up, throwing the shirt across the room impatiently. Her hands were back on him immediately, splayed across his chest as she kissed him harder, longer.

With each movement, they both lost what was left of their restraint. They also lost what was left of their clothes, all piled up somewhere in the room- they didn’t know where, didn’t care. Rey had enough body heat for them both, and Ben- the desire growing inside him was enough to burn a city.

“You’re huge,” Rey murmured against his lips as she settled back on his lap.

Her thigh brushed his cock in the process, and Ben thought he was going to die- but her hands wrapped around him, and _ this _ was how he was going to die. She flashed him a grin, hand already going up and down his length with an ease only she could have.

“You knew it,” he managed to mumble.

She hummed in approval, and his teeth gritted instinctively. Any word, any sounds coming out of her was another step towards heaven. His cock twitched in response, begging to be taken care of, and he couldn’t help the moan that escaped him when Rey crushed her lips against his again, fingers tightening around him with each experimental stroke she gave.

Her name left him just a few seconds later, and Ben found himself immensely grateful that she’d seemingly explored his body by herself enough to know what it meant. Her grip loosened around him as she hauled herself a few inches, her free hand on his shoulder for support. Their eyes met for a brief moment, and she sank down on him, brow creasing with a frown.

“Slow down,” Ben murmured against her skin. “Take your time.”

His hands came to her hips, guiding and supporting her in her descent. He hadn’t forgotten how her body was made, and as much as he wanted to feel surrounded by her, as wet as she was, their respective sizes required care and attention. She took him inch by inch, her breath hot against his neck with every gasp as Ben stroked her sides encouragingly. Even like this, she looked divine.

She found her limit seconds later, rolling her hips against him with an impatience that made Ben smile. Her hands were on his chest in no time, hovering above his fast-beating heart and warming his skin in the most delightful way. Everything from her movements to her smiles was a mix of vulnerability and confidence, something typically Rey that made him feel dizzy with feelings as he watched her silently. His mouth found its way back on her skin as she picked up her pace, tasting her neck and cleavage with curiosity. He could still feel her on his tongue, and yet the salt of her skin made it to him. She let out a muffled moan when he circled her nipples, her thighs squeezing around him in perfect sync with the movements of his lips.

Her moans doubled, increased; and all of a sudden, Ben felt her walls clench around him. Her back arched into his arms, legs trembling around him, sending him to the edge as well with a cry the neighbors probably heard.

Their movements eased off gradually as waves of pleasure washed over Ben, Rey’s hips slowing down and her chest heaving deeply as she regained control over her breath. Her hands had somehow found their way back to his hair, fingers tangled with his waves, but Ben didn’t care; her touch had become soft again, loving as she held him close to her. He could hear her heart drumming in her chest, threatening to equal his as her face fell on his shoulder with a loud, satisfied sigh Ben mirrored.

“You were serious?” She asked after a moment. “About not going out for two days?”

“Very much,” Ben assured with a smile. His hands trailed up her back, rubbing small circles along her skin. “Why?”

She straightened up in his arm, pulling away just enough to meet his gaze with hers. “Because I love this idea.”


	7. Home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter! I had so much fun with this story, I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did ♥️  
A huge, huge thank you to [nite0wl29](https://archiveofourown.org/users/nite0wl29) for her help! ♥️

“How about Thursday?”

Terror seized Ben. Tuesday was only in two days; this was _ way _ too soon.

“I’m a bit busy this week,” he murmured into his phone.

The sun was just starting to pierce through the curtains as he stretched out in his chair, doing his best not to make any noise. He’d been awake for hours, but had only just gathered the courage to call his mother ten minutes ago.

Waking up next to Rey had been a pleasant reminder that all of this hadn’t been a dream. The body exchange, her, last night- it was all real, and going surprisingly well so far. Not an ounce of remorse had grazed him when they’d come together the night before, nor when his eyes had landed on her bare back, heaving from her deep breaths hours later in his bed. It had all felt right, deserved and earned. This was pure happiness; the kind he’d longed for his entire life.

“Whenever you’re ready.”

A calm smile bloomed on his lips at his mother’s words; one she couldn’t see but probably felt. She’d always had some sort of sixth sense, which sometimes came in handy. He remembered how easily she could feel his emotions as a child, and how it became a problem as a teenager. She'd always known him better than anyone else; her reactions were the only bad part, really. Thankfully, the years apart seemed to have eased some of the tension he remembered, and he had Rey to thank for that: her previous phone call had broken the ice enough for them not to leave too many silences. Truth be told, Ben wasn’t sure he would’ve had the courage to make this call if Rey hadn’t made that first step for him.

Luke, with his ever-so-wise opinion, would say he should’ve been the one to do it- which wouldn’t be entirely wrong- but Ben couldn’t help the wave of gratitude washing over him at the thought. It sure wasn’t her place to do it, as it hadn’t been his to open her box, but God knew how long it would’ve taken him to make the first step himself. If he even _ would’ve _. What he knew, though, was that he was thankful this happened, and thankful he finally made this decision.

“Soon,” he promised. “I… I’d like things to feel right. With us.”

“I would love it, too.”

He was still a bit stunned by the sound of his mother’s voice. There was a softness in it; a patience he’d forgotten after so many years spent demonizing her and his entire family. The weight of all the time lost in the past few years washed over him, forming the beginning of a lump in his throat. He wanted to tell her about Rey, and Snoke, and so many other things- but a sound echoed from behind his bedroom’s door, followed by a yawn.

“I have to… I’ll call you later. I promise.”

“I believe you, Ben.” She made a pause then spoke again, hesitant. “Should I tell your father, or…?”

The door of his room opened with a grating noise, revealing Rey’s hesitant figure. She still looked a bit sleepy but radiant nonetheless, her smile widening when he beckoned her to come.

“Sure,” he replied, his eyes following Rey as she approached. “Tell him. I…” Her hand landed on his shoulder, gently squeezing it. “I have to- I need to go. Bye, mom.”

_ Mom _ . It left him so easily; he could barely believe he’d said it. “ _ Oh _, bye honey.”

She hung up before he could, leaving him no time to process the use of the old nickname. A few years ago, he would’ve groaned and rolled his eyes- maybe even asked her not to say it. All he could feel now was relief, with a sense of familiarity as his mother’s voice echoed in his ears, surprised yet calm. Peace washed over him, too, as Rey’s hand slipped to the back of his neck as she walked around his chair. Setting the phone on the table, Ben covered her hand with his, looking up with an apologetic frown. “Sorry, I didn’t want to wake you up.”

“You didn’t.” Her arm wrapped around his shoulders as she sat across his lap. “The bed was cold and I couldn’t find you.”

“Sorry,” he repeated, planting a kiss on her shoulder. “I’ll come back in a minute.”

“That’s ok, I was hungry anyway.”

Her stomach growled as if to prove her point, drawing a chuckle out of them both. He wasn’t fully used to her being herself yet, looking at him with her own eyes and speaking with her own voice. All the tiny details he’d gathered during the past weeks, from the way she sighed to the looks she gave… they all felt like hers regardless of the body she inhabited, but worked so well with this one, Ben wasn’t sure he would ever get tired of looking at her doing the most random things. Slowly, she unhooked her arm from around his shoulders and turned around to face the table, giving him a good view of her back.

Her hair was slightly disheveled from the night they’d spent, falling down her back in soft waves. She was still wearing the shirt she’d stolen before they’d fallen asleep, so large on her that he could see most of her skin down to her shoulder blades, each constellation made of freckles more visible than ever. It sent a wave of shivers down his body, and pushed him to trail the back of a finger along her spine. She was boiling, just like she had been all night, and soft, so soft- he couldn’t help bending just a little and planting a kiss on the back of her neck.

Goosebumps appeared under his lips, and Ben could inexplicably feel her smile. Each of her sensations was his, like some odd side effect; or maybe it was just the way he knew her body’s reactions. He did it again, lingering a little longer this time and Rey arched her back in response, grinding the rise of her ass against him. Despite having spent the night between her legs, Ben still wasn’t completely used to his body’s responses again. His hands closed around nothing, and he shivered at the wave of pleasure that washed over him.

“Early riser, huh?”

He almost laughed at the double meaning, but choked on his words before they even left his mouth. She was moving again, this time more insistent. He could feel himself getting hard already, and swore he could hear her chuckling softly as she stretched to grab the cup of tea he’d made for her earlier in case she woke up soon. The satisfied hum that left her as she drank only increased his arousal, and he swore he could hear her smiling when she spoke again.

“You okay?”

It was obvious she’d gotten used to his body- enough to know how to send him over the edge, if last night was any indication. He’d been surprised at how easily she’d remembered and used it, not to say amazed. He hadn’t had many partners before her, but every time with Rey had been mind-blowing so far- something to thank the universe for. As inconvenient and terrifying as this body swap had been, it’d allowed them to meet and find each other. Letting out a shaky breath, Ben wrapped an arm around her middle and spread his fingers over the thin fabric covering her abdomen, burying his nose in her disheveled hair. “More than okay.”

The way she wriggled didn’t seem intended, this time. She settled the mug on the table rather sharply, arching her back a little more as Ben kept nuzzling her neck. Her scent immediately grazed him, familiar and new at the same time.

“You smell good.”

“I do?”

“You do.” His mouth trailed up her neck, lingering to the soft spot right behind her ear. “You smell like home.”

“Home?”

The way she repeated it sounded amused, appreciative. Still facing the table, she blindly reached behind her, touching his face with a trembling hand. She let the back of her fingers graze their way down his cheeks to cup it tenderly, slow and soft. This time, Ben caught sight of her smile as she turned her head to the side, glancing at him through her eyelashes. His heart missed a beat when she leaned back into his chest, and another when she tilted her head to capture his lips between hers, increasing the pressure on his cock.

The kiss grew more intense with each passing second, as did Rey’s movements. Her fingers had moved further behind, running through his hair as she deepened the kiss with an open mouth. She kept rolling her hips against Ben, slowly, and it was taking him all his willpower not to nip at her lips as she brushed his with the tip of her tongue.

“You’re gonna be the death of me,” he mumbled against her mouth.

The soft laugh that left her sent his heart on a loop, and this time, Ben couldn’t stop the moan that crossed his lips at the friction her movement created. Her eyes seemed to darken as he grew harder, and _ that was it, this was the end of him and the moment he would wake up _ , because there was no way she was real. She was good, so perfect, he _ had _ to have imagined her.

“I’d rather you stay very alive,” she replied in a whisper.

Her voice, her accent- it tickled his heart, burned his skin just enough for him to lose the little control he still had over himself. His hands ran up her sides to grab her hips in a vain attempt to steady her, but instinct took over and Ben found himself pulling her closer to him. The surprised gasp she let out made him smile as he buried his face in the crook of her neck again, planting kisses along her shivering skin.

Everything about her felt like a dream, and yet, Ben _ knew _ she was real. He’d run a few more reality checks over the night, and one more this morning after waking up, just in case. It all felt too good to be true, too good not to be kicked in the ass by the universe at the next opportunity- but so far, the universe seemed to have been rewarding him for all the miserable years he’d left behind. His arm instinctively tightened around Rey’s middle, dragging her a little closer while his other hand slid between her thighs, slowly spreading them. He could feel her breathing getting deeper, full of anticipation as his fingers grazed her inner thigh, slowly approaching her center. The first thing he noticed was the absence of underwear. The second was how wet she was, and the effect it had on him. His voice came out lower than he’d intended as he leaned forward to nibble at her neck, his fingers slowly grazing her thin skin.

“Sorry I left the bed.”

“It’s okay,” she breathed out.

Her head fell backwards to land on his shoulder, giving him better access to her neck. His mouth trailed down her throat, leaving open-mouth kisses on the way that drew a few whimpers out of Rey as she arched her back into his chest once again, pressing against his cock in a way that was just as delightful as it was torture. A gasp left him, muffled against her skin.

“Rey…”

She hummed in response to her name, her fist clenching his hair. Everything she did was torture at this point, from her movement to the sounds she made; and yet, Ben found himself searching for more. The arm he’d wrapped around her loosened, and his hand undid the buttons of her shirt one by one while the other started rubbing small circles against her clit. The shirt fell open within seconds, allowing Ben to sneak his hand under the fabric that pooled around her, reveling in the warmth of her skin as he traveled up her ribcage to her breasts, where his fingers closed around one.

He almost wished he could face her, not having forgotten how good her skin tasted on his tongue. He wasn’t sure he could ever forget- he wasn’t even sure he could ever let anyone else in after last night. She was everything he didn’t know he wanted, everything he needed and so much more.

“How are you so…”

The words died on his lips as he plunged a finger inside, eliciting a low moan out of Rey. He didn’t think he could ever get bored of the sounds she made, even less knowing he was the one causing them. Last night had answered the question he’d thought about for the last weeks: the things he’d learned about her body and its reactions had indeed proved to be helpful regardless of the body’s resident. Thankfully, this new position was definitely better for the movements he’d learned on his own. It gave him better access, too; something he took advantage of as he pumped his finger in and out of her, trailing up and down her folds with sounds that made him grow harder.

“Lower- _ yes _.”

The rolls of her hips had become hasty, eager for more, and Ben- Ben wasn’t sure he would survive another minute with his cock desperately tenting his underwear, begging to be freed. His hand left her breast to grab at her side again with a groan, lifting her up a few inches. He stood up as well, getting rid of the shorts he’d put on earlier, pushing her against the table in the process. “Sorry-”

“No, it’s- stay. Like this.”

His fingers dug deeper in her skin at her request, trailing down her hips to grip at her thighs as he instinctively aligned himself with her. Pure satisfaction washed over him as the fabric fell down his knees, allowing them skin to skin contact. He was tempted to plunge into her right here and now, feel her take all of him- he knew she could, he’d _ seen _ how well she could. Already trembling at the idea, he gritted his teeth in a vain attempt not to bite at the nearest thing, which happened to be her shoulder. He kissed it instead, mouth open and warm against her cold skin. A moan left Rey, making it even more difficult not to bend her over the table.

“There’s something I- _ Ben _\- something I didn’t tell you.”

“Can it wait?”

The back of his fingers caressed her hips, traveling up to her stomach as he now grazed the soft skin of her neck with his nose. She let out an appreciative hum, hooking a hand around his neck and pulling him closer. “Yes… _ no _. I… don’t know.”

Slowing down his movement was insanely difficult: her skin was too addictive, too soft for him to ever want to part from her. Yet, Ben stopped moving and planted a kiss behind her ear to settle himself, his hand cupping her waist cautiously. “What is it?”

He could feel shivers emerging under his lips, her fingers slowly tangling with his hair. She was growing tense under him, nervous in a way she hadn’t been since his arrival. Her chest heaved with a deep breath she took, her voice coming as a murmur when she spoke again, her head turned just enough so that their eyes met.

“I think I love you.”

For a moment, Ben forgot about his initial intentions. Everything disappeared except Rey, and her words playing on a loop in the back of his mind. _ I love you, I love you, I love you _ \- it almost covered the maddening rhythm of his heartbeats, and Ben couldn’t stop his smile from widening. She loved him. She _ loved _ him.

He’d already opened his mouth to reply when Rey shook her head. “I _ know _ I love you,” she rectified, her voice slightly more assured. “And… we’re already going so fast, I don’t want you to feel trapped if that’s not what you-”

Whatever she was about to say died on her lips as Ben’s found hers, stopping her words with a kiss.

They’d kissed many times last night, more than he could count, but this time felt different. This time, Ben conveyed everything through the kiss. Each and every heartbeat she’d caused, every scrap of tenderness; it all went through the movement of his mouth against hers, all washed over him as he felt her lean into the kiss.

“I love you,” he murmured against her lips. “And we’ll go as fast as you want us to.”

The smile she gave him brought a new kind of warmth to his heart. Her body relaxed under his touch and she chased his mouth for another kiss, brief but intense, and Ben felt himself smiling like an idiot as her hand slowly guided his arm back around her middle. The table squeaked as her hips met the wood, drawing a groan out of him at the sensation of her body compressed between him and the furniture.

“For now…” Her back arched as she wiggled to drop a kiss on his shoulder. “I’m good with this pace.”

His arm squeezed around her, pulling her closer, _ closer _ until her back melted into his chest.

“I love you,” he repeated in her ear as he leaned forward, guiding her in his descent. Her hips rose a few inches, and a moan crossed his lips as his cock grazed her entrance. She was so wet, so ready, her thighs already trembling; it took Ben all he had to control himself as he planted another kiss at her temple, eliciting another one of her soft sighs. “I love you.”

He said it again as he plunged inside her, and again as his hand trailed down her side to sneak between her legs and rub small circles at her clit again. She’d led him for the major part of the night, mostly straddling him. This was the first time she’d left him with that much control; and deep inside, Ben reveled in the realization that she trusted him enough to let go. Even with his face buried between her legs, she’d never been so vulnerable.

“Tell me to stop if-”

“_ Don’t. _”

Ever so commanding, her voice faltered as he pulled out a few inches, only to push back in, deeper. She met each of his thrusts eagerly, gripping the table when he picked up his pace, his name rolling off her tongue a little louder every time. He wanted to kiss her, silence her moans with his tongue, but the distance between their mouths allowed the most delicious sounds to leave her and fill the room as he felt his climax building, fast and warm.

“I’m close. _ Ben _-”

His thumb rubbed faster, harder, until he felt her walls clench around him. He followed almost immediately, muffling curses against her shoulder with her hair glued to his face, suffocating him until he had to pull away for fresh air. He came back immediately, peppering kisses along her neck as his movements slowed. Slowly, the room fell back into a silence only broken by their heavy breathing as they both came down from their highs, glowing with sweat and ecstasy. Just as Ben unwrapped his arm from around her, Rey trailed her hand down and twined her fingers with his. His other hand found her hair just as hers grazed his thigh, seeking balance as she leaned back against his chest, shaking but beaming. Her head fell back on his shoulder with a satisfied sigh, and Ben couldn’t help kissing her cheek.

“Breakfast?” His voice came out rougher than intended, but she didn’t seem to mind. She let out a soft chuckle instead, then broke into a radiant smile that had him positive this was the start of a very, very good day.

\- - -

The next day went by in the blink of an eye, and with their bodies tangled together most of the time. For every minute spent exploring the area, they remained locked inside for hours, taming each other on about every surface of the apartment. Nights were short, mornings were long- but every single second was worth it.

“Morning.”

The word reached him like a caress, followed with a kiss on his ear and a hand brushing his hair away from his face. They’d fallen into a pattern, waking each other up with kisses and whispers until one of them caved and stripped the other of their clothes. This morning seemed to be no exception to the rule. Careful not to crush her, Ben rolled on his back and stretched out, opening one arm for Rey to snuggle against him.

“You’re up early,” he remarked as she settled against his chest. The clock behind her indicated eight o’clock, which was way earlier than what she’d gotten used to. She nuzzled his neck in response, humming her approval.

“I was busy. Bought my return ticket.”

One of her hands splayed over his chest while the other found his hair, absently running her fingers through it as Ben felt his heart rate increase. “Oh. I’m… not sure I’m ready to say goodbye yet.”

Honesty had become a habit between them, but hearing his thoughts cross his lips added some weight to the realization. After all the time spent longing for her presence, after finally getting to be together… this felt like a kick in the face for the overwhelming happiness of the last few days. The absence of sadness in her voice only added to the heavy feeling sinking inside his chest and a brief, terrible thought crossed Ben’s mind: _ maybe they shouldn’t have _. Maybe this had all been a mistake, tasting a glimpse of happiness when that very happiness was always meant to end, breaking his heart all over again.

“Me neither.” Her hand trailed up his chest to his cheek and she cupped his face, tilting it so that he was facing her. “So I… may have bought one for you, too.”

The brief shot of anxiety vanished instantly. Their eyes met, and his heart warmed up at the grin on her face. “You…”

“Come home with me,” Rey asked, barely whispering. “You’re not working for that arse anymore, you already know my place and we could… figure it out…”

Her voice trailed off and she looked away, seemingly distracted by the patterns her fingers were tracing on his chest. Hiding her nervousness would’ve been easy with anyone else, but Ben had spent too much time in her body not to notice. She may have been lucky enough not to blush as outrageously as he always did, but he knew exactly where to look- and the way that particular spot at her temple turned red was a good enough sign.

“Figure it out, hm?”

“Yes, I mean… what we want to do.”

His arm tightened around her waist, pulling her closer until her eyes met his again. “And what do you want to do?”

It took Rey a second to smile back at him, and another to send his heart over the edge as she bit her lower lip. They’d spent too much time together in the past week, too much time on the phone for the last two months for him not to guess her answer; still, Ben couldn’t help the rush of blood that traveled down his body when Rey buried her face in his neck, grazing his ear with her lips when she replied with that playful tone of hers. “You.”

“That can be arranged.”

Her laugh tickled his skin, warmed his heart and spread a smile on his face. His free hand came to her chin, tilting her head up a few inches to claim her lips again. Neither of them was able to stop smiling, breaking the kiss with light chuckles here and there until Rey pulled away for good, her grin still very much present.

“I want to spend more time with you,” she continued, wrapping a leg around his waist and carefully rolling on her stomach until she was above him. “Talk with you. Cook with you. Kiss you.”

Ben obliged immediately, his hand trailing up her face to get lost in her hair. No smiles broke their kiss, this time; they both deepened it longer than necessary, up until the point where Ben felt his body react rather eagerly to Rey’s presence on top of him. If the smirk curling her lips was any indication, she’d felt it too. Just when he felt her hand move lower down his stomach, Ben pulled away, his nose bumping into hers.

“How long do you want me to stay?”

His last word had barely left him when Rey crushed her mouth against his.

“As long as you want,” she murmured, breathless before she kissed him again.

A part of him wanted to warn her, tell her that she’d grow tired of him. The other part, now stronger, brushed that thought aside. He knew Rey enough to know she wouldn’t make such an offer lightly, just like she wouldn’t have admitted her love if she didn’t mean it. They’d talked enough for him to see right through her abandonment and trust issues, and for her to admit she’d never felt like this with anyone before. He hadn’t, either; the confession had drawn a beaming smile on her beautiful face.

“I’ll come with you.”

She gave him the exact same smile, and Ben knew this was what he wanted to see every morning. He wanted her to be the first thing he saw when he woke up, and the only warmth lulling him to sleep. He could do with knowing she loved him, somewhere in the world with the promise of another trip coming soon; but in all honesty, he’d rather skip a few steps and spend as much time he could with her. And judging by her reaction, Rey did, too.

“It’s a long trip,” she warned in a murmur.

Her words tickled his lips as she leaned into his chest, her legs spreading from either side of his torso. The mattress sunk under their combined weight as she planted her knees into it, and Ben bit the inside of his cheeks when she squeezed her thighs around him. The gesture made his blood boil, and his cock twitch under the sheets. “I’m patient,” he grumbled through gritted teeth.

“Mmh?” Her mouth moved to his neck, lazily nibbling at the sensitive spot under his ear. “London has terrible weather.”

“I never liked the sun.”

“I have an awful small bed.”

“I’ll sleep on the floor.”

“Don’t you dare.”

Her last word ended on his lips, lost behind her tongue as she kissed him fiercely. His erection increased, encouraged by the brush of her thighs until it couldn’t go unnoticed anymore. Rey didn’t seem to mind; she definitely didn’t seem bothered as she pressed her body against his, grinding against his erection until she drew a moan out of him. She broke the kiss with a chuckle and let her mouth trail down his jaw, a million shivers emerging under her touch. This was too good for him to stop her, too good to dare speak; and so Ben let his fingers run through her hair, brushing it away from her face to drop a kiss on her disheveled waves.

“I want to feel you next to me,” she murmured as she traveled down his chest, peppering kisses along the way. “Every.” _ Stomach _ . “Single.” _ Abdomen _. “Night.”

A strangled groan left Ben when her lips closed around a particularly sensitive spot on his hip. His fingers hadn’t left her hair, following in her descent, and he felt his grip tighten around her locks when the tip of her tongue joined the movement of her lips. She kissed his skin like it was something precious, drawing him a little closer to the edge with every nibble. She would probably leave a mark, several even, but Ben couldn’t care less- he was hers, and every trace of her on his skin was like a precious reminder of these moments spent together. Slowly but surely, her hands brushed the sheets down his thighs and she crawled lower down his body until her hair was the only thing left above his waist.

“This sounds like a –_ shit _\- a great idea.”

One hand wrapped around his cock while the other landed on his thigh, and Ben felt himself throb under her fingers as she flashed him a grin from between his legs. “What? This?”

“Us. Together.”

Something sparkled in her eyes, and Ben could tell her heart was beating as fast as his. Whatever this was, however long it lasted- he could tell neither of them would ever regret it. He could see it in the way he felt every time his eyes landed on her, or in the way she couldn’t help maintain physical contact with him even in her sleep. He’d never been one to believe in soulmates- but then again, they’d spent the last two months in each other’s bodies. Anything was possible; and with Rey by his side, Ben knew this to be true.

His free hand found hers at his hip, tangling their fingers together. She gave him a gentle squeeze, seemingly satisfied with the sounds that left him as she took him between her lips, swirling her tongue around his tip with enthusiasm.

\- - -

“Ready?”

Rey’s voice sounded distant when they both stop at her door. She’d asked him if he was ok on the plane, then again in the taxi and in the staircase, each time met with a nod and a smile from Ben. He’d been nervous the night before their flight when he’d started packing, and again when he’d texted his mother to let her know about his absence. Rey had been the one to suggest he did, because this was apparently what people did- but he knew this was her way of encouraging him to keep moving forward with his parents, step by step. His mother had immediately asked about the reason behind this trip, and his answer -that he’d explain later- had given him hope that, one day, she and his father would meet Rey. For real, this time. Preferably by his side.

Ben was still nervous as he stared at the door in front of them. The place was familiar, but the situation- he’d never been with someone before like he was with Rey. He’d never been included in a partner’s life, let alone that much; and even though he already knew her friends, they didn’t- or at least not knowingly. This first impression would define his chances of an actual friendship with them, which was just as exciting as it was terrifying. He’d grown attached to them, especially Rose since she’d shared his secret.

As happy as he’d been to spend time with Rey and Rey only for the past two weeks, he’d missed the evenings with Finn and Rose and the days with Poe. Rey had assured him the garage could use another pair of hands, and that Finn would be glad to have another masculine presence around to back him up, but he couldn’t help the nervousness building in his throat as he contemplated their first official meeting.

Rey’s hand found his, and a wave of serenity washed over him. Their eyes met, and Ben heaved a sigh as he returned her smile. As long as they were together, he could face just about anything.

“Ready,” he replied with a nod.

His heart jumped in his chest when she knocked; three distinct knocks followed with silence, then the sound of hurried steps echoing behind. His hand tightened around hers, holding on to her like a lifeboat as the door opened before them, revealing a curious pair of eyes crowned with a tangling bun of dark messy hair. The woman in front of them took a pause, seemingly searching for something as she took in Ben’s figure; she lingered on his eyes, squinting, and seemed to find what she was looking for in them. Her frown vanished, making way for a soft smile at the corner of her mouth.

“You must be Ben.”

A breeze of something familiar grazed Ben at the sound of Rose’s voice. Her smile, her ridiculously oversized multicolored cardigan, the corridor behind her- it all gave him the sense of belonging he’d first found here, and his heart tightened at the sight of the place he knew and already considered as part of his home. The other part was by his side, his arm wrapping around her waist like this was natural; and it was starting to be, really. Rose’s eyes widened at the sight, along with her smile- and before he knew it, she was hugging them, her arms looping around his and Rey’s shoulders as she pulled them down to meet her height.

Her embrace was insanely tight for such a small person, but Ben found himself smiling even more at it. The fierceness of her tenderness reminded him of his mother, and how everything seemed to finally be falling into place. Finn’s voice echoed somewhere in the back of the apartment, immediately followed by a series of footsteps and a murmured ‘_who’s_ _this guy_?’ covered by giggles that could only belong to Poe.

_ They were already his friends. He just needed to remind them. _

Rey giggled next to him, shaking the three of them as Rose tightened her grip on them both. His hand found Rey’s again, holding onto it like his life depended on it- and maybe it did. Chuckling with nervousness, Ben pulled away and watched as Rose covered his and Rey’s hands with an approving nod.

“Welcome home.”


End file.
